A one-sided friendship is a relationship where one person puts in all the effort, while the other person contributes very little. In this type of friendship, one person is always there for the other, but the same level of support and effort is not reciprocated. One-sided friendships seem to be common for those of us who have experienced childhood abuse or neglect. One-sided friendships seem to resemble the unhealthy dynamic we grew up in with an emotionally immature parent. In this dynamic we were constantly ‘giving’ and looking after the parent, hoping for some care and attention in return. Sadly we only got crumbs of attention and it wasn’t even positive.
A lot of us tend to feel that we want the friendship more than the other person, that it is more important to us than it is for them. We feel needier towards that friendship and then feel ashamed for feeling this way. This seems to be a theme that is repeated in our life.
When this happens we start wondering whether it is even possible to form a healthy, reciprocal friendship? The answer is YES, it is possible but only if we acknowledge and respect our boundaries and think about our worth. How far will we take a one-sided friendship until we finally give up on it?
How many chances do we give the person?
Would we rather be alone than have a couple of one-sided friendships that don’t enrich our lives?
What is healthier for us?
Feel free to share your experiences in the comments below.
Love Athina
couragecoaching.net 