Emotional abandonment is a huge part of growing up with emotionally unavailable parents. Parents who in many cases have NPD but also parents who are alcoholics or addicts or just too immature to have brought a child into this world.
Is this a topic you can relate to?
Did you feel emotionally abandoned and still suffer with people-pleasing tendencies, perfectionism or avoidant tendencies?
Feel free to share your experience in the comments below.
I hope you have all survived the holiday period and are feeling optimistic about this year. I am very much hoping we will see the end of the Covid pandemic this year and our lives can return to a semi-normal state. I also hope that our mental health will improve and that we will find ways to feel more in tune with ourselves, our needs, our bodies and our minds.
Mental health has been affected so much over the last couple of years due to the pandemic but it has been even tougher for those of us who have had numerous other struggles due to a traumatic past, toxic family members, grief, financial insecurity and other physical health issues.
For those of us specifically, who struggle with anxiety and CPTSD, we know all too well how tricky it is to keep our emotions regulated when we are triggered or scared.
Personally, as a lot of you may already know, I have always struggled with anxiety and low mood. Over the last couple of years however, I have been able to manage my symptoms much more successfully. This has made it easier for me to support others through my coaching and Youtube channel and to also continue to work on my own personal development through more training. Yoga has become a big part of my life, as is walking my dog and trying to keep active. Deep breathing and mindfulness has also helped immensely but the one thing I still struggled with until recently, was getting myself to an immediate state of calm when in the grips of anxiety.
The worst of my anxiety is usually when I travel by plane or when I have to do something that puts me in the spotlight. I also get extremely anxious when I think about losing someone I am attached to. Just before Christmas, I decided to try something completely different and was gifted something that eases anxiety. Although I was rather skeptical at first, after reading so many good reviews about it, I decided to give it a go.
This device is called CalmiGO.
CalmiGO is scientifically proven and uses 3 methods to lower anxiety levels:
-Multi-sensory stimulation or grounding
-Breathing regulation (exhalation prolongation)
These 3 methods combined, activate the parasympathetic nervous system and lower stress level hormones.
CalmiGO is drug free and safe to use and if you would like to find out more about it, then feel free to click on this link:
My experience with using CalmiGO so far has been absolutely brilliant.
After trying this device for 3 minutes as recommended, I immediately noticed a reduction in my anxiety levels.
The most important part of the device for me is that it encourages you to prolong your exhalation. This is scientifically proven to decrease those awful symptoms of anxiety such as dizziness, accelerated heart rate, nausea and chest pain. When we are anxious, we end up breathing much too fast which results in a decrease of PCO2 levels. CalmiGO reverses this with exhalation prolongation. Since prolonging my exhalation was always the trickiest part for me, CalmiGO has been incredibly helpful in getting me to do this successfully. It vibrates and lights up whenever you reach a long enough exhalation, so this helps immensely when you are doing this for 3 minutes or more. Take a look at the photos below for an idea of what CalmiGO looks like and how to use it.
When I ordered CalmiGO, it arrived wonderfully packaged and came with a very detailed guide on how to use it effectively. It came with a little rubber cover and also an easy to use pouch to carry it in. There was also a pack of AAA batteries, a small screwdriver and a pack of 2 scented element attachments. One of these scented element attachments is placed on the front of the device near the ‘on and off’ switch. My preferred choice was lavender but you can also choose peppermint or bergamot if you prefer.
Although there is a detailed guide on how to use it effectively, there is also a tutorial video which you can watch here:
Since I have found CalmiGO so incredibly useful in my personal life, I decided to collaborate with the founders of CalmiGO and I am offering a $30 discount on every purchase made through their website.
By adding the code COURAGE as a voucher when you add CalmiGO to your shopping cart, you get the above discount on the total price. Go to the link below to gets yours 🙂
CalmiGO really is an investment in a life with less anxiety.
For those of you who live with CPTSD or PTSD, CalmiGO will help ground you and if used every day for a month during a time where you are really struggling with panic and anxiety, you will see a huge decrease in your symptoms.
If you have any questions or would like to share your experience using CalmiGO, then please feel free to leave a comment below.
Over the last 9 months, I have been lucky enough to connect with Kayla on her brilliant journey of self-evolving. Kayla is a counsellor who very much enjoys supporting her clients in becoming the best version of themselves, as she also does for herself.
Kayla has created this brilliant brand which celebrates those of us who keep evolving and growing in our mental health journeys.
Kayla’s website is brilliant and deserves celebrating.
You can read about 3 self-evolvers’ journeys and also buy some brilliant clothing and accessories that are inspiring and mental health promoting.
You can also become an ambassador for the brand, if you think this is something you would enjoy.
After the success of my Assertiveness PDF Course, I have decided to release my first E-book/Guide ‘Dealing with CPTSD triggers in relationships’-A helpful guide for both partners.
This is something I have been working on for awhile and especially because so many of you have reached out to me struggling with your partner’s triggers.
This ebook is available on Amazon Kindle and I am selling it for £5.06 but I am offering the first 15 of you the opportunity to buy it for only £2 by sending payment to my PayPal at email@example.com.
If you are in need of support in your relationship, then order your discounted copy NOW!
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org confirming that you have made payment and you will receive your discounted copy!
If you support me on Patreon, you will get this e-book for free 🙂
I will be creating a video on my YouTube channel to promote this e-book but I would very much appreciate a reblog of this post, if you think this ebook would help anyone you know.
I want to help as many people as possible as this is something that I have personally struggled with in my relationship.
To buy the Kindle version on the UK Amazon click below!
Dealing with a pandemic of this magnitude, we are all understandably becoming anxious and uncertain about the future.
All the little things that consumed our life previously are no longer as important.
There is a new reality now.. One of survival, planning and isolating.
For those of you who are already living with C-PTSD, anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions, this time is especially triggering..
For those of you in the ‘at risk groups’, life can feel terrifying..
Here are a few tips that are keeping me sane and might help you too!
Try and hold onto the positives even though the reality is extremely daunting.
Whenever anxiety creeps in, take several deep breaths and be kind to yourself.
Keep a daily log of 3 things you are grateful for on each day.
We are dealing with an unprecedented reality, it is normal to feel overwhelmed.
Try and stop yourself from engaging too much with social media or news on the Coronavirus.
Distract yourself with things you enjoy. There is nothing wrong with binge watching Netflix series at this time or reading lots of books..
Even though you may be stuck at home, make sure you create a new stable routine for yourself and your family. Exercise, eat at the same time every day, do an activity together, have some alone time, have a shower at the same time each day etc. Since you have lost your normal routine, creating a new routine is extremely important.
Try and eat healthy food as much as possible..Limit alcohol and sugar. Keep your immune system as healthy as possible
Engage in your hobbies as much as possible
Write your thoughts and worries in a journal or online blog
Keep in touch with family and friends
How are you coping with this in your country?
I hope you are looking after yourselves at this difficult time dear readers.
I wanted to share the great news that Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is recognised by the World Health Organization’s (WHO) eleventh revision of the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD-11).
As someone who has openly spoken about living with the symptoms of CPTSD, it feels extremely validating to know that it is actually recognised formally. I wasn’t aware of this until very recently so for those of you who already knew this, please forgive my delayed discovery. For those of you who live with CPTSD and are aware of this, I hope this news finds you well.
In my personal opinion, a diagnosis of CPTSD could easily replace many other diagnoses. CPTSD is the result of child abuse, neglect and any other prolonged and repeated traumatic experiences.
Symptoms of anxiety and depression are in most cases part of having CPTSD, as well as the following (in the context of childhood trauma & abuse).
”Attachment – problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to others’ emotional states”
”Biology – sensory-motor developmental dysfunction, sensory-integration difficulties, somatization, and increased medical problems”
”Affect or emotional regulation – poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes”
”Dissociation – amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events
”Behavioural control – “problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems”
”Cognition – difficulty regulating attention; problems with a variety of ‘executive functions’ such as planning, judgement, initiation, use of materials, and self-monitoring; difficulty processing new information; difficulty focusing and completing tasks; poor object constancy; problems with ’cause-effect’ thinking; and language developmental problems such as a gap between receptive and expressive communication abilities.”
”Self-concept – fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self”.
Formal recognition and diagnosis will greatly help CPTSD sufferers with more appropriate treatment options:
Some current treatments are:
dyadic resourcing (used with EMDR)
emotionally focused therapy
emotional freedom technique (EFT) or tapping
expressive arts therapy
internal family systems therapy
dialectical behavior therapy(DBT)
family systems therapy
yoga, specifically trauma-sensitive yoga
It is also worth mentioning that CPTSD has also been referred to as DESNOS (Disorders of Extreme Stress Not Otherwise Specified).
DTD (Developmental trauma disorder) is also proposed as the alternative equivalent to childhood CPTSD.
”Dr. Judith Lewis Herman, in her book, Trauma and Recovery, proposed that a complex trauma recovery model that occurs in three stages:
remembrance and mourning for what was lost,
reconnecting with community and more broadly, society.”
If you live with CPTSD and have had experience with any of the above treatment options, I would love to hear what you found helpful.
Thanks for reading
This blog post includes direct text from Wikipedia:
Just a quick post to update you on what I am up to at the moment. I am currently studying my first Counselling module with the Open University alongside my work. I am very excited about this and hoping to complete a whole Diploma in Counselling or a full on Bachelors. I am studying separate modules at a time, which enables me to be more flexible in my choices.
I am still making youtube videos on my channel and also still taking on new clients for coaching.