Tag: Narcissistic abuse
Complex PTSD is recognised as a disorder in the ICD-11
I wanted to share the great news that Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is recognised by the World Health Organization’s (WHO) eleventh revision of the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD-11).
As someone who has openly spoken about living with the symptoms of CPTSD, it feels extremely validating to know that it is actually recognised formally. I wasn’t aware of this until very recently so for those of you who already knew this, please forgive my delayed discovery. For those of you who live with CPTSD and are aware of this, I hope this news finds you well.
In my personal opinion, a diagnosis of CPTSD could easily replace many other diagnoses. CPTSD is the result of child abuse, neglect and any other prolonged and repeated traumatic experiences.
Symptoms of anxiety and depression are in most cases part of having CPTSD, as well as the following (in the context of childhood trauma & abuse).
”Attachment – problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to others’ emotional states”
”Biology – sensory-motor developmental dysfunction, sensory-integration difficulties, somatization, and increased medical problems”
”Affect or emotional regulation – poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes”
”Dissociation – amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events
”Behavioural control – “problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems”
”Cognition – difficulty regulating attention; problems with a variety of ‘executive functions’ such as planning, judgement, initiation, use of materials, and self-monitoring; difficulty processing new information; difficulty focusing and completing tasks; poor object constancy; problems with ’cause-effect’ thinking; and language developmental problems such as a gap between receptive and expressive communication abilities.”
”Self-concept – fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self”.
Formal recognition and diagnosis will greatly help CPTSD sufferers with more appropriate treatment options:
Some current treatments are:
- biofeedback
- dyadic resourcing (used with EMDR)
- emotionally focused therapy
- emotional freedom technique (EFT) or tapping
- Equine-assisted therapy
- expressive arts therapy
- internal family systems therapy
- dialectical behavior therapy(DBT)
- family systems therapy
- group therapy
- neurofeedback
- psychodynamic therapy
- sensorimotor psychotherapy
- somatic experiencing
- yoga, specifically trauma-sensitive yoga
It is also worth mentioning that CPTSD has also been referred to as DESNOS (Disorders of Extreme Stress Not Otherwise Specified).
DTD (Developmental trauma disorder) is also proposed as the alternative equivalent to childhood CPTSD.
”Dr. Judith Lewis Herman, in her book, Trauma and Recovery, proposed that a complex trauma recovery model that occurs in three stages:
- establishing safety,
- remembrance and mourning for what was lost,
- reconnecting with community and more broadly, society.”
If you live with CPTSD and have had experience with any of the above treatment options, I would love to hear what you found helpful.
Thanks for reading
This blog post includes direct text from Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder
Love Athina ♥♥
Oversharing
Oversharing is something that I have also been guilty of on more than one occasion.
Why do many of us overshare whereas most people only share what is necessary when meeting new people?
In the video below, I explain a little bit about oversharing and why we do it.
Love Athina ♥
How to outsmart a narcissist once and for all!
Outsmarting the narcissist is important for your sanity and so you can feel in control of your life. Narcissists are experts at controlling your life with different manipulation tactics and they are very skilled at turning empaths into codependents.
This video will help those of you who deal with a covert narcissist, to feel empowered and strong again. The ‘deflect’ technique that I talk about in this video is especially good when dealing with a covert narcissist however isn’t advisable when dealing with a physically abusive narcissist.
Love Athina ♥
© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.
Narcissists can give you fleas
What does it mean when narcissists give you the fleas?
Fleas comes from the adage “He that lieth down with dogs shall rise up with fleas”, which has been attributed to Benjamin Franklin. According to Wikipedia, the quote has an almost universally agreed meaning of “You should be cautious of the company you keep. Associating with those of low reputation may not only lower your own but also lead you astray by the faulty assumptions, premises and data of the unscrupulous”
When a victim has the fleas, it means that they have picked up behaviours of the narcissist. This is mainly because they have been exposed to the narcissist’s behaviours for a prolonged period of time and have ended up feeling helpless and hopeless.
The victim will look for ways to escape and sometimes will resort to behaviours which are not characteristic but serve as a way to demonstrate their anger and alleviate the powerlessness they have been feeling.
The good thing is, that victims that use narcissistic behaviours against their abusers, quickly back down and feel ashamed and remorseful. This shows that they don’t need to be afraid of turning into a narcissist themselves.
Some examples of getting fleas can be when a victim shows passive aggressive behaviours when feeling cornered or triggered by someone close to them.
They could also at times become aggressive towards a narcissistic partner or parent.
Lastly, they may even shout at their parent or partner and even end up calling them names.
These are just maladaptive behaviours that can be changed by being self-reflective and by asking a therapist for support. Victims of narcissistic abuse live with C-PTSD so they will not always be able to cope in a healthy way. They just need the right guidance to makes changes by turning unhealthy coping mechanisms into healthy ones.
Thanks for reading!
Love Athina ♥
© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.
10000 Subscribers on Youtube!
I just wanted to write a quick post today about how grateful I am to have reached 10,000 subscribers on my youtube channel.This is a milestone I never thought I would ever reach! My videos are most definitely not perfect or perfectly edited, yet the information I have been trying to get across is being reached!I am so glad the content I have been uploading has been helping so many people all over the world! Narcissistic/Sociopathic abuse is an epidemic and spreading awareness has been so important to me! This sort of abuse has been happening for far longer than any of us could imagine yet it has only been talked about in detail, in more recent years.
My video ‘Rules children follow in a narcissistic home’ has had over 670,000 views and has been my most validating video for so many children and adult children of narcissists! I still can’t quite believe how many people have been able to relate to the content on my channel!
Thank you all so so much!
Lots of love
Athina ♥
Things not to say to those with a mental illness
Narcissistic abuse red flags
If you have noticed the following red flags in a person close to you, then you need to take precautions. Below is a check list which you need to pay close attention to. The more of these you can relate to, the quicker you need to remove yourself from a relationship with such a disordered person.
Narcissists are everywhere and can be both male or female. They can be partners, family members, friends, teachers, managers, therapists, coaches, spiritual advisors, neighbours and any person in a position of power.
PATTERNS TO WATCH OUT FOR
- You have a feeling something is wrong or feels off
- Constant lying or exaggerating
- No regards for rules or laws
- Overly concerned with public image
- Has too many chaotic relationships in their past
- Never apologises
- Makes excuses often
- Poor financial management
- No accountability
- Destroyed relationships
- No real friendships
- Demands trust
- Projects their feelings onto you
- You feel uncomfortable or in danger
- Aggressive/Passive Aggressive
- Has double standards
- Cheats in relationships
- Blames others constantly
- Controlling
- Isolating
- Two faced and hyper critical
- Backstabber
- Acts differently in private and in public
- Drug or alcohol addict
- Distorts facts to suit their needs
- Plays the victim often
- Insults, teases, smirks
- Provokes and then blames
- Creates circular conversations
- Is shaming
- Is condescending
- Twists your words in arguments
- Your feelings aren’t validated
- They can have different personas around different people
- They guilt-trip you
- They thrive on drama
- The thrive on causing you pain
- They know how to push your buttons
- They have to always be right
- They can’t laugh at themselves
- They belittle your accomplishments
- They compete with you
- They often gaslight you
- They give you the silent treatment
- They turn others against you including family
- They alienate children from the other parent
- They withhold attention or affection as a manipulation tactic
- They give you inconsistent details of their past
- They are ruled by money and want yours
- They get bored easily
- They are status orientated
- They are self-centred and entitled
- They have a big ego
- They groom their victims
- They badmouth their exes yet return to them to make you jealous
- When meeting a potential partner they love bomb them.
- They remember things you did years ago and bring them up in arguments
- They rewrite history to suit them
- Can pretend to be hyper-emotional so they can manipulate others
- They might constantly correct you – nothing you do is ever right
If you think you are indeed dealing with a narcissist and need support, then please feel free to contact me. Detaching from or dealing with a narcissist is not an easy task, especially if they are a partner or family member.
If you feel you are in danger, then please contact your nearest Refuge or move to a location the narcissist doesn’t know about. Record all conversations if you can (stick to texts or emails) so nothing can be used against you.
Most of all, look after yourself. Self-care is extremely important!
Love Athina ♥♥♥
© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.
Rules a partner has to follow in a relationship with a narcissist
It is important to see these rules, as if the narcissist was saying them directly to their partner. This will enable the victim (soon to be survivor) to relate in a more intense way and to get help to leave the narcissist.
Love Athina ♥
The sad truth about why narcissists form relationships
Those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder sadly lack empathy and don’t feel remorse. They are cold, calculating, manipulative and emotionally shallow.
Narcissists don’t form relationships with others like healthy people do. They don’t seek out partners to love and share their life with in an equal, loving and respectful way. They see people as objects that they use to satisfy their needs.
These needs are usually attention, an ego stroke, improved social status, shelter, money, sex or a combination of these. These needs sadly do not include love.
Narcissists attach themselves to their victims and slowly bleed them dry, either financially or emotionally or both. They are known as being “parasitic” in nature, as they literally leech off their victims to get their needs met.
When Narcissists first meet their victims, they trick them into believing that they are their soul mate. They present themselves as the perfect potential partner and they create an intensely emotional experience for the victim. They will pretend to be supportive, loving, romantic etc. so their victim falls for them fast. Once they have lured their victim in successfully, the mask slips and their true colours start to show.
By this stage, the victim has already invested himself/herself completely in the relationship. The victim hopes that the narcissist will return to being the loving and kind person that they were at the beginning of the relationship. This exact thought is what makes them stay in the relationship despite any abuse they may be experiencing.
It’s really hard to believe, and it’s even harder to accept, but narcissists are not able to love anyone in a healthy way or create healthy bonds.
Narcissists also thrive on the emotional pain they cause their victims, especially when they hurt them on purpose. They feel important when they abandon their victim suddenly and see how much suffering they cause. The more suffering they see in their victim, the more important they feel.
Narcissists cause their victims extreme psychological damage and they are left feeling depressed and traumatised. Recovery is a slow process for survivors of narcissistic abuse but luckily it is possible to recover and find healthy love in the future.
Thanks for reading!
If you think this post will help others, then please share it!
Love Athina ♥♥♥
© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.
