Practicing self-compassion when you didn’t have a nurturing mother is very important.
To not feel like celebrating your mother on Mother’s day is completely understandable when she was abusive, overly critical, neglectful & selfish.
The same goes for Father’s day or any other major holiday that focuses on the family unit.
If you are still in contact with an abusive parent, please don’t feel guilty about not doing anything if that is how you truly feel. If your mother complains to you about not doing anything, don’t let her complaints affect you.
If you do decide to send your mother a card, please don’t feel guilty if you can’t write anything in it that is warm and loving. Maybe a card that simply states ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ is enough!
In any case, it is a personal choice and nothing is right or wrong. Just go with your feelings and be kind to yourself.