When we grow up with dysfunctional parents, we have no comparison to what is supposed to be healthy. We just know what we know and we take these experiences with us into adulthood. We are moulded by these experiences and we carry the trauma with us when we try to function in relationships with others.
There may have been instances when we were teenagers, where we spent time in our friends’ family homes and we caught a glimpse of what ‘healthy’ looked like. Maybe there was a level of calmness that we didn’t see in our own family. Maybe there was mutual respect, support and validation of our friends’ emotions. Maybe our friends’ parents asked us lots of questions and showed genuine interest in us when our own parents never did. Maybe we felt ‘safe’ in our friends’ family home. Maybe this helped us survive our own childhood or maybe we genuinely never had this experience and were completely alone in our suffering.
Whatever your experience, know that you are not alone anymore. There are so many resources online to help you put the pieces of the puzzle together and help you understand why you may struggle so much in your current relationships. It is not your fault you are struggling and repeating the same dysfunctional patterns of behaviour you witnessed growing up.
Change can only happen when you commit to figuring out what needs to shift and what steps you need to take to heal and recover from your dysfunctional upbringing.
The video below, may help with this journey!
Much love, Athina
couragecoaching.net 