Talking about childhood trauma can feel overwhelming, especially when opening up to a friend for the first time. How do we explore sharing our story in a way that feels safe and empowering, while also setting boundaries and managing expectations? How do we prepare ourselves for possibly being let down and invalidated by the person we tell?
Talking about something so difficult will never come easy to us, because safety was compromised in our childhood. Sharing the full range of our emotions, wasn’t acceptable and we may have been punished or invalidated a lot. That is why this feels scary and trust doesn’t come easy to us.
The first step to consider, could be to assess our friendship so far with the person we want to tell. Test the waters, so to speak.
Do we feel safe in their presence and can we truly be ourselves with this person?
Does this person listen to us empathetically?
Will we feel relieved by telling a (safe) friend about our trauma?
What will we do if they don’t respond in a validating way? Have there been any instances in the past where they may have invalidated us?
These are all good questions we can ask ourselves.
A safe person or ‘friend’ is one that listens and validates our experience, by saying something like ‘I am sorry to hear you went through that’.
In the above video, I talk about this tricky topic in a little more detail, so please watch it or share it if you think it will help someone.
Love Athina
couragecoaching.net 