Have you ever felt like you were the parent instead of the child? Growing up as a parentified daughter means carrying emotional burdens too heavy for a child to bear. In this video, we explore the experience of daughters who had to step into a parental role—providing comfort, stability, and care at the expense of their own childhood.
This video is inspired by my own experience of being a parentified daughter and I share a deeply personal poem I wrote in my early twenties when I was struggling with my mother.
The poem in the video is written below:
***Please only re-use this poem by giving credit and asking for permission.***
When you grew up in a home with dysfunction, chaos and unpredictable emotional outbursts, your mind and body is constantly thrown into a state of emotional dysregulation. Home didn’t feel safe, so you also didn’t feel safe. When unpredictable and unfair demands were placed on you as a child, this will have caused long term problems with hyper vigilance, low self-worth, shame, anxiety and depression. CPTSD will be the end result of growing up with emotionally immature and/or toxic parents.
As an adult, you will struggle with certain very basic every day things. Normal changes that are very much a part of life, may feel huge for someone with CPTSD. A sudden change in plans, a packed train, an illness or a delayed flight can all create immense anxiety in someone with a history of trauma.
When you live with CPTSD, over-preparing and knowing the details of things in advance, can ease your anxiety and help you feel more comfortable.
Creating safety as much as possible, helps trauma survivors feel better.
Creating regular routines and predictable outcomes can also be very helpful.
It is of course impossible to control everything in your environment, but being prepared can very much help.
When things don’t go as planned, having a back-up plan can create a safety net. Having certain objects with you that provide comfort, can also be extremely helpful.
What is your experience with this? I would love to know in the comments below!
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