The narcissist’s vortex


Being in a relationship with a narcissist, whether that is a family member or partner, is like constantly being sucked into a vortex with no escape. Every time you think you are getting somewhere, you get sucked in deeper and deeper. Your confidence is constantly eroded, you start doubting your feelings and logic and the narcissist continues to do what he or she does best: Turning the tables on you everytime you have an argument.

They are masters at saying things like ” I never said that”, ”you are imagining things”, ”stop being so sensitive”, ” you hurt me way more than I hurt you” etc. …

Everything can & will always be used against you

Everything is always your fault

Everything is about how you hurt their feelings more than they hurt yours..

They are always one step ahead..

You will never win, you will never beat them..

The worst part is, that being in a relationship with a narcissist can become extremely addictive…

A trauma bond is created over time and the victim in this dysfunctional relationship clings onto the hope that the narcissist will become the positive person they remember from the beginning..The caring side that they were lured in with at the start, is what keeps them from walking away from the relationship..

If the relationship is with a narcissistic parent rather than a partner, then it is ever tougher for the adult child to break free..The trauma bond is even stronger, especially because a child’s love for their parents never dies and also because the brainwashing that goes on in the family home, is even more long-lasting and intense.

If you are in a relationship with someone whom you think is a narcissist and are starting to come around to this realisation, then please feel free to comment.

For support, please email me at

Love Athina ♥

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Author: Courage Coaching

I provide empowerment, empathy & support. I specialise in dealing with dysfunctional relationships, particularly narcissistic abuse & encouraging self-compassion.

8 thoughts on “The narcissist’s vortex”

  1. Very nicely put. I’ll just add – or they erode your life so significantly that escaping them seems merely impossible as they become your life vest. They do it so subtly you never realize it while it’s happening. And all the while they are making you feel like an awful person for needing them. It’s a vortex all right. Thank you for sharing this. 🌸


  2. It is so hard to see the reality with narcissism. Most especially if the longing for love and to be seen is so great, which it is and its a hunger that becomes greater with its frustration or denial. Its so very very complex and it IS EXACTLY a vortex 🙂


  3. Omg! I’ve just come to the realization that my best friend/lover is a narcissist and everything makes sense now! Idk how I didn’t see this long ago. I’m STILL struggling to let go completely because of the guilt I feel for having to let go before he destroys me mentally completely.


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