As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and in honour of some of my followers who are also survivors of abuse, I want to do a short but very important post today about the unfortunate shaming & silencing that happens to survivors.
It is absolutely horrendous to deny someone of their right to freely talk about their abuse and to deny them the ability to heal.Every time a survivor talks about the abuse to someone who validates them and acknowledges their pain, there is a small layer of healing taking place.
On the other hand, every time a survivor shares their story and isn’t believed, is shamed for not forgiving their abuser or is told to not go public about their abuse, it is destructive & extremely painful. It shows that the person shaming the survivor lacks empathy & understanding for the pain & trauma they have been through. It is re-traumatising and makes the survivor feel isolated & abused once again.
For those of you out there, who don’t know much about child abuse because you have been fortunate enough to grow up with healthy, loving parents please understand this:
Survivors require acknowledgement of their pain & suffering
Survivors require kindness & empathy
Survivors need to hear ‘I am so sorry for what you have been through’
Survivors need to be shown healthy lovely, healthy boundaries because they never learned these in their childhood..
Survivors DON’T want to be told to forgive their abusers
Survivors DON’T want to be told to stop talking about what happened to them just because you are uncomfortable with it.
Survivors DON’T want to be told to ‘Get over it because it was a long time ago’
Survivors DON’T need any more abuse, silencing or shaming.
Much love Athina ♥
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Love this xxxxxxxx
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Please can I reblog it on the 21g?
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Of course 🙂 xx
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Reblogged this on 21gram.soul.blog and commented:
Unless I get my photographs back, this is the last post I am putting on the 21g. I will continue to write my ptsd survivor blog and write my book as I want to help survivors. The internet is just not for me. Imani
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To the point,u nailed it:)
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Thank you, I am glad you think so ❤
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🙂
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Reblogged this on my child within.
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Reblogged this on RUN.RABBIT.RUN. THE BLOG BEHIND MY [as yet unfinished,] TRILOGY OF PERSONAL PTSD MEMOIRS; WRITTEN BY A BRAVE CHILD ABUSE AND RAPE SURVIVOR- TO INSPIRE AND CHEERLEAD OTHER SEXUALLY, PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, NARCISSISTICALLY & RITUALLY ABUSED SURVIVORS 🙂 and commented:
This reblog is very apt, given my recent post on abuse disclosure and the kind of reactions survivors often get. I also am behind this blogger all the way as her speciality is narcissistic abuse, which is not an area often tackled in child abuse blogs. Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional/psychological abuse. Having been raised by a narcissistic parent, with narcissistic siblings, this is something very close to my heart and I hope this post is of use to you survivors out there. 👍💝 Lottie xxx
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I really like this post. I am knew to blogging and am still trying to find my voice. I am somebody who told of the abuse when I was little and not believed. I know how painful that feels
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I am so sorry you were not believed. I have also been there numerous times..It really is very painful.Thank you for taking the time to comment! I have followed your blog and look forward to reading more about your journey! Hugs x
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Very well said.
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Thank you lady xx
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Such an important post Athina…abusers have an investment in us not speaking up…we have a right to share the truth and not have it discounted or minimised. If we cant express we cannot heal.
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Thank you Deborah. It really is so crucial to healing and feeling validated. Hope you are well xx
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This is so true-apols for the shameless link but also similar in spirit to a recent post of mine: 7 ways to silence a survivor https://talkingofincest.com/2016/07/24/7-ways-to-silence-survivors/
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Not a problem at all..I have followed your page, so look forward to reading more xx
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