The sad thing about healing from abuse is that many people who haven’t themselves been abused, can’t possibly understand the survivor’s journey.
Healing from abuse is unique to each individual who has experienced it. The survivor will be emotionally damaged and/or physically hurt and unfortunately this damage is sometimes irreversible. Abuse leaves behind scars unique to each survivor’s experience.
Although healing means that your mind and body are able to recover, this doesn’t mean that the person can return to being ‘normal’.
The aftermath of abuse is usually permanent.
There might be long-lasting Complex PTSD for those who suffered child abuse, human trafficking, kidnapping or other severe types of abuse.
For some individuals abuse might be all they have known. They don’t have a pre-trauma or pre-abuse identity. They might not know what it is truly like to feel safe.
To all survivors of abuse or trauma,it is very important to remember this:
I came across this wonderful website & blog known as ‘Beauty after bruises’, which is a voluntary website that provides invaluable support for those with CPTSD and/or Dissociation.
The links I am adding here are very useful for those of you who really struggle with sleeping and generally dread the night time. Please check them out if you think they might help you and feel free to re-blog this post so it also reaches others.
As many of you already know, my journey to qualifying as a Life Coach, was based on my own recovery from my narcissistically abusive parents.
For those of you who don’t follow my more personal blog, I wanted to just give you a little insight into my own struggles.
In the last few days, I have been struggling with contact again from my father, after 1 year and a half of not speaking.
I sent him a letter, so he could stop harrassing me by phone.
I never exclusively told him I wanted no contact, but after a very traumatic time following his attempted suicide, (as a way of stopping his wife from leaving him) he gave me the silent treatment for a year, so I just went along with it.
I was not willing to respond to him and was already in a grieving process, even though there was no closure of any sort.
When he finally decided to start hoovering me back in with his phonecalls and sudden caring, I continued to ignore his calls. This communication from him went on for 8 months. I finally got fed up with the constant calls that I decided to send him a letter to end our relationship. I briefly explained my reasons and gave him the chance to reply.
I received his reply and it hit me really hard! More than I expected it to.
I realised that I still had a tiny glimmer of hope that he might change his behaviour and this was a huge setback for me. I also realised how incredibly strong the trauma bonding is between us, even more so than with my mother.
As a means of coping with my recent distress and the final letter to him, which I am in the process of writing at the moment, I created the below video!
It outlines what I have been going through and what many other survivors of abuse face all the time.
Please feel free to share it, if you think it may help others.
Just visit my Youtube page and embed it into your page.
I hope you had a good weekend and have started your week with hope in your heart. I have been unusually busy over the last week, as hubby has been on holiday from work. My mornings have been completely transformed from work & ‘me’ time, to long breakfasts and lots of ‘us’ time. We just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary on Saturday and took a mini break away in the wonderful town of Braunschweig. An escape from the usual routine we are well accustomed to, is so incredibly refreshing and enriching.
Although hubby is still on holiday this week as well, I want to make sure I keep up my blogging and Youtube Videos, even if at a lesser frequency.
I have finally managed to set up my new webcam and got the sound on the microphone to the level it should be at. I can safely say that the quality of my Youtube videos will finally be at an acceptable level.Hoorah 🙂
Although I started off my video today thinking it would only be a very short trial one (to test out my new webcam), it ended up being a long one!
The video is about emotional flashbacks once again and how to manage them.
The video below is the 2nd one I have posted on this topic, as I have received a few more requests to talk more about this difficult area of CPTSD.
Love Athina ♥
Ps: I finally received my full & approved ‘Certificate in Coaching’ today after completing the written assignment and waiting a long 12 weeks for the course tutors to correct it.
Unfortunately, they forgot to add my married name in brackets as I had originally requested but despite this, I am very very pleased 🙂
Trauma happens to all of us..We all go through life with a few small traumas. Most of the time, small traumas or small losses don’t leave emotional scars. We just keep going and adjust to whatever life throws at us.
If on the other hand, the trauma or loss we suffer is profound, then this means that we will be more deeply affected by it and will need longer to overcome it or learn to live with the affects.
In this video, I touch on the importance of grief and the 3 main stages of grief you go through when dealing with a major loss or trauma.
Shame is caused by negative messages. The shame I am highlighting in this video is caused by dysfunctional parents. Shame is insidious and can have detrimental effects on the way we view ourselves and others.
This is something I am very familiar with as a survivor of narcissistic abuse and I want to highlight the cause of shame, so people can maybe identify with what might have been said to them as children and so they can find a way to move forward and heal.
I hope you are all enjoying your weekend to the best of your ability.To those of you struggling at the moment, I hope you are doing ok and reaching out for support. The blogging community is filled with wonderful, caring people and it is important to keep this community positive and encouraging. To those of you who need it, I am sending you a big hug! ♥ Take it one step at a time ♥
As some of my regural readers know, I am off to London tomorrow until Thursday to visit family and friends, while my husband is away for work.My Youtube videos are usually posted every Monday, however due to the fact I am off to London tomorrow, I decided to do this one a little earlier.
I talk about Complex PTSD once again, as there are so many of you who suffer with it and I am pretty sure that you need some hope, to keep fighting it and keep moving forward. Through lots of research and from my own personal experience, I talk about the most helpful things you can do to support your healing.
Anxiety can affect our body in so many ways that sometimes it is very hard to differentiate between anxiety or something much more serious.Some symptoms are exactly the same as symptoms caused by more serious health problems, so how do we tell the difference?
It is usually helpful to get check ups with a doctor to rule out anything more serious but most of the time, a doctor can tell you if what you are experiencing is caused by anxiety.
The below symptoms were directly sourced from: www.anxietycentre.comThis website is the most helpful and detailed website out there regarding anxiety, that I have recommended to clients, those suffering from an anxiety disorder & also therapists.
This would be useful, to anybody out there who suffers with Generalised Anxiety, OCD, phobias, panic disorder, PTSD, CPTSD & Social Anxiety.
This website, helped me identify a lot of my own anxiety symptoms several years ago, when I was in a constant state of hyperarousal and anxiety. Shortly after this period, I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD, which finally gave me more insight into my condition.
The symptoms list on this website, were very validating for me at a time that I literally felt like I was going crazy with anxiety.
I personally have experienced the following symptoms, in addition to the most well-known symptoms that most people know about.
Eye problems, vision symptoms
Eyes sensitive to light
Tingling & numbness in arms
Bad taste in the mouth and anxiety
A tinny, metallic, or ammonia, or unusual smell or taste
Which of these symptoms have you experienced from your anxiety disorder?
Below is a detailed list of all the symptoms associated with an anxiety disorder. Did you ever think there were this many?
Body Anxiety Symptoms:
Back pain, stiffness, tension, pressure, soreness, spasms, immobility in the back or back muscles
Blanching (looking pale, loss of color in the face or skin)
Blushing, turning red, flushed face, flushed skin, blushing, red face or skin
Body aches, parts of or your entire body feels sore and achy, feels like your body and muscles are bruised
Body trembling, shaking, anxiety symptoms
Body temperature increase or decrease, change in body temperature
Burning skin, itchy, crawly, prickly or other skin sensations, skin sensitivity, numbness on the skin
Burning skin sensation on the face, neck, ears, scalp, or shoulders
Buzzing sensation in the feet, toes, hands, fingers, arms, legs
Chest pain anxiety symptoms
Chest pains anxiety symptoms
Chest tightness feeling
Choking feeling in throat
Chronic Fatigue, exhaustion, super tired, worn out
Chronic pain and anxiety
Clumsiness, feeling clumsy, co-ordination problems with the limbs or body
Cold chills, feeling cold all the time
Cold flashes, flash
Cold hands and feet
Craving sugar, sweets, chocolate, usual craving for sugar and sweets
Difficulty speaking, moving mouth, talking, co-ordination problems with the mouth or tongue