Cluster B disorders – COURAGE COACHING

Loss of self-identity- A result of narcissistic abuse

Narcissistic abuse red flags

If you have noticed the following red flags in a person close to you, then you need to take precautions. Below is a check list which you need to pay close attention to. The more of these you can relate to, the quicker you need to remove yourself from a relationship with such a disordered person.

Narcissists are everywhere and can be both male or female. They can be partners, family members, friends, teachers, managers, therapists, coaches, spiritual advisors, neighbours and any person in a position of power.

PATTERNS TO WATCH OUT FOR

You have a feeling something is wrong or feels off
Constant lying or exaggerating
No regards for rules or laws
Overly concerned with public image
Has too many chaotic relationships in their past
Never apologises
Makes excuses often
Poor financial management
No accountability
Destroyed relationships
No real friendships
Demands trust
Projects their feelings onto you
You feel uncomfortable or in danger
Aggressive/Passive Aggressive
Has double standards
Cheats in relationships
Blames others constantly
Controlling
Isolating
Two faced and hyper critical
Backstabber
Acts differently in private and in public
Drug or alcohol addict
Distorts facts to suit their needs
Plays the victim often
Insults, teases, smirks
Provokes and then blames
Creates circular conversations
Is shaming
Is condescending
Twists your words in arguments
Your feelings aren’t validated
They can have different personas around different people
They guilt-trip you
They thrive on drama
The thrive on causing you pain
They know how to push your buttons
They have to always be right
They can’t laugh at themselves
They belittle your accomplishments
They compete with you
They often gaslight you
They give you the silent treatment
They turn others against you including family
They alienate children from the other parent
They withhold attention or affection as a manipulation tactic
They give you inconsistent details of their past
They are ruled by money and want yours
They get bored easily
They are status orientated
They are self-centred and entitled
They have a big ego
They groom their victims
They badmouth their exes yet return to them to make you jealous
When meeting a potential partner they love bomb them.
They remember things you did years ago and bring them up in arguments
They rewrite history to suit them
Can pretend to be hyper-emotional so they can manipulate others
They might constantly correct you – nothing you do is ever right

If you think you are indeed dealing with a narcissist and need support, then please feel free to contact me. Detaching from or dealing with a narcissist is not an easy task, especially if they are a partner or family member.

If you feel you are in danger, then please contact your nearest Refuge or move to a location the narcissist doesn’t know about. Record all conversations if you can (stick to texts or emails) so nothing can be used against you.

Most of all, look after yourself. Self-care is extremely important!

Love Athina ♥♥♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

Narcissistic fathers & their sons

In my latest youtube video, I discuss the relationship between narcissistic fathers and their sons. This was requested by some of my viewers.It is just as important to raise awareness about how damaging a narcissistic father can be towards their son.

Thanks for watching!

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

Love Athina ♥

Narcissistic mother types

Awhile back, I wrote a blog post on my other site about the effects of narcissistic abuse and the different narcissistic mother types out there, according to respected psychotherapist Michelle Piper. You can find this blog post here:

https://mychildwithin.wordpress.com/2016/03/24/narcissistic-mother-types/

After reading through Michelle’s website, I wanted to share the information she provides with my subscribers on youtube. With a growing audience, I felt it was the right thing to do.

In the following video, I talk a little bit about the roles children take on in a dysfunctional home and I list the 53 types of narcissistic mother that Michelle came up with. Most people can relate to quite a few of them, with their mother fitting into many different types.

If you find this blog post or video useful, then please feel free to share it.

Love Athina ♥

Covert narcissism-The hidden narcissist

Today’s post and youtube video is about the more hidden type of narcissism known as covert narcissism.

I know how destructive this type of narcissism can be from personal experience and I believe that more people need to be aware that covert narcissists sometimes hide behind a mask of generosity, fake empathy and self-sacrifice.

They walk among us more often than anyone realises and they can be doctors, healthcare workers and psychologists.

Covert means: not openly acknowledged or displayed, concealed or hidden

If you find the video or this post useful please feel free to comment, like & share it with anyone who might benefit.

Love Athina ♥

Mental Health Awareness week

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Ending the stigma of mental health is still proving to be a challenge, although in the UK we are getting ever closer to our goal of a deeper understanding, tolerance & acceptance of the importance of talking about our mental health.

As somebody who has never known what life is like without mental health problems, I know how difficult it is to be open and honest about it..People are still uncomfortable with knowing what to say or not say..Even if they try to be understanding, deep down you can sense whether they get it or they don’t..

Every single one of us is touched by stress or anxiety at some point in our lives, whereas others live with it every day…I am one of those people who lives with chronic mental health problems..Complex PTSD isn’t something to be taken lightly..There are still so many moments in my life at the age of 34 that I still learn new things about myself that I am not able to do, that others would find incredibly easy to complete. The hypervigilance and overwhelm never goes away..The chronic fatigue never goes away..The low mood is always lingering in the background..The voice that says ‘you are just not good enough’, pops up a lot when I am working alongside others…

Self-care is so important in these moments and remembering to accept ourselves when we are struggling can make a world of difference!

Walking the same path as others with mental illness really helps people feel less alone..

All the wonderful people who ran the London Marathon raising money for Mental Health are simply incredible..

If you think about how much these runners must have battled with those nasty little voices inside their head, it makes you feel incredibly inspired. The voice of depression or the voice of anxiety is not an easy task to manage..but yet they did it, and in what an admirable way!

I am also blessed to have many friends & fellow bloggers who do so much to raise awareness about mental health! They have all been personally affected however and live with debilitating conditions themselves..

The most crucial part in my opinion of raising awareness, is to also hear more people talking about mental health that don’t have any personal experience with it..People that feel concerned about someone they know but just don’t know how to respond..People that are lucky enough to live with good mental health and are surrounded by people who aren’t that lucky..

If you have experience with ill mental health, stigma or intolerance, then please feel free to comment.

Lastly, I would also like to share my latest information video on defence mechanisms. I was having a bad day yesterday and couldn’t face the camera to film myself talk, so I came up with this instead.

Thanks so much for reading & watching!

Love Athina ♥

Psychological Projection-A defense mechanism that people with NPD use often

Dear friends

I am hope you are enjoying your weekend and are generally doing ok.

Before I fly off to Scotland tomorrow, I wanted to upload Monday’s Youtube video early, as I won’t be able to work on it when visiting family.

This week’s video is about an abusive behaviour & defense mechanism that people with narcissistic personality disorder use very frequently.

Projection is something I experienced most of my life from my mother and it is something that was immensely painful.

This is the definition of Projection according to Wikipedia:

Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others. For example, a person who is habitually rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude. It incorporates blame shifting.

I hope you find this video helpful.

Love Athina ♥

Pathological lying & other types of lying

Happy Monday everyone! I hope your week started well 🙂

Today’s video, which unfortunately took me ages to edit due to many interruptions & distractions, is about pathological lying. Although I talk about other types of lying, I particularly wanted to highlight the importance of pathological lying because it is the most destructive form of lying there is. Compulsive lying is also similar, although not as spiteful.

Individuals which are high on the narcissistic spectrum (NPD’d, Malignant narcissists, Psychopaths, ASPD’d) are very skilled pathological liars.

Please like,share & subscribe to my youtube channel if you find this video helpful!

Love Athina ♥

Infantilization

You might have heard of the term infantilization but you may not realise how incredibly abusive it is when a parent does this to their child.

It is only natural for a growing child to start developing independent thoughts, actions and opinions. For a narcissistic parent this can be very threatening, as they want to continue controlling their child and use them for narcissistic supply.

Check out my video for an explanation of what infantilization is.

Some examples of infantilization are as follows:

A parent stops a teenager from socialising with friends or doesn’t allow them any privacy in their bedroom. The parent may still treat them as if they are a young child whereas a teenager needs growing independence and privacy.

A parent buys their child age-inappropriate clothing and/or arranges age-inappropriate activities.

A parent might not allow the child to speak for themselves, when they are asked a question directly by somebody else.

A parent might discourage the child from pursuing new interests as they don’t want the child to become more skilled at new things than they are.

If a parent isn’t able to have healthy relationships, they may try to influence the child against their choice of partner. They can’t allow their child to leave the family nest. The parent wants to continue their enmeshed relationship for as long as possible.

The effects of infantilization are as follows:

The adult child ends up having chronically low self-esteem
The adult child has difficulties academically
The adult child may find getting a job difficult
The adult child learns helplessness and enabling
The adult child may self-harm
The adult child may have poor social skills
The adult child may self-sabotage
The adult child may become avoidant

If you can relate to any of what I have written or said in the video, then please re-blog so it reaches more people.

Knowledge is power and with knowledge comes healing. To also further promote healing on a larger scale, I have recently signed up to patreon to further support my creations of videos, pdfs & hopefully in the near future, e-books.

Patreon is a platform that enables creators to reach new goals by having their followers & supporters fund their work.

If you find my videos & blog posts helpful, then please check out my patreon page.

It would mean the world to me to be able to reach more people and help them on their journey of recovery.

https://www.patreon.com/AthinaEhlen

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Love Athina ♥

Narcissists & their relationship to money

This is a topic I previously covered on my personal blog last year but it is important to highlight again, especially in the current climate.

Most extremely powerful & wealthy people in this world, are usually void of empathy. Politicians, country leaders, business tycoons etc..

Narcissists and especially overt & malignant narcissists, lack empathy, lack self insight and aren’t able to form healthy & reciprocal relationships.

In this video, I talk about the importance of money in a narcissist’s world.

I talk about financial abuse and how narcissists may use this sort of abuse.

Having had first hand experience with a narcissistic & very controlling father, I have witnessed the obsession of a narcissist with his money & how he uses it in his life, to harm those close to him.

If you have experienced financial abuse or known someone who has used money in a harmful way, then please feel free to share this in the comments below.

Love Athina ♥