In yesterday’s video, I decided to talk about Avoidant Personality in a little more detail, as my first video became very popular in a short amount of time and many viewers reached out to me with questions .
In this video I discuss some examples of what avoidance may look like, not only in full blown Avoidant Personality Disorder but also with people who just have a lot of the avoidant traits. I also talk about what specifically causes avoidant traits and what the consequences are.
Happy Monday everyone! I hope your week started well 🙂
Today’s video, which unfortunately took me ages to edit due to many interruptions & distractions, is about pathological lying. Although I talk about other types of lying, I particularly wanted to highlight the importance of pathological lying because it is the most destructive form of lying there is. Compulsive lying is also similar, although not as spiteful.
Individuals which are high on the narcissistic spectrum (NPD’d, Malignant narcissists, Psychopaths, ASPD’d) are very skilled pathological liars.
Please like,share & subscribe to my youtube channel if you find this video helpful!
This is my 2nd video from my Q & A video series. My followers, viewers & subscribers ask the questions and I answer to the best of my knowledge with a video.
I really hope that this video is useful to those of you who suffer from insomnia in general and I hope it also provides a little more insight for those of you who have specific PTSD related Insomnia.
PTSD related insomnia is a very tough symptom to tackle and is usually managed with a combination of anti-depressants, the short term use of sedatives and talking therapy( all under the watchful eye of a psychotherapist or psychiatrist).
Just a quick post about something that matters as equally as physical health.
We all live with mental health and mental illness can touch all of us at least once in our lifetime.So how openly do we talk about it and how easily do we feel uncomfortable mentioning our struggles to a co-worker, family member or friend?
I have encountered so many of the below unhelpful phrases from ignorant individuals, so for this reason, I will keep spreading awareness of the importance of validating someone’s struggles with their mental health.
Moving out of our comfort zone can be extremely rewarding if we are able to manage the anxiety that pops up. Humans are creatures of habit and having a steady routine, a safe haven in our home and the people around us that provide love and validation,becomes so important.We fear uncertainty, loss, pain, and so we seek to keep ourselves cooped up in our ‘safety net’ of comfort.
The difficult thing about comfort zones, is that they can at times foster an attitude of learned helplessness making progress harder.
Personal discovery and personal development tend to happen more when we are outside our comfort zone but how often do we actually manage to venture outside it?
The one thing that my coachees always find helpful, is to start off with setting 1 small goal. It is easier to focus on 1 thing at a time if you want to make progress. The goal has to be something that is achievable and a little scary, but not overwhelming. Once you succeed in reaching this initial goal, this will then give you the courage and further motivation to tackle something bigger.
Sometimes, people overstretch themselves by doing too much at once, too quickly.
If someone has never left home, has never gone on a holiday abroad and then suddenly gets offered a job in another country where they don’t even speak the language, then this is an example of something that can be too much.
How do you cope when you have to leave your comfort zone? Have you had any experiences which were overwhelming? I am particularly interested in people who also suffer from anxiety often. How do you tackle this? I would love to hear your experiences.
When some of us decide to take on a new goal, we tend to put in a lot of effort at the beginning and then as time progresses we don’t sustain the same effort to reach it. This is sometimes the case when people have New Year resolutions. An initial goal is set at the beginning when motivation is high but when the going gets tough, the less effort is put in. We tend to start procastinating and the more we put something off, the worse it gets.This then results in our failing to reach our goal.
Wanting to make a change, especially when it comes to bad habits, requires commitment, effort and persistence. To really make a change we have to commit to something 7 days a week! This might seem extreme but it really isn’t. Thomas Edison famously remarked that ‘genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration.
Most of us wish there could be a ‘quick fix’ for most things in life but this really isn’t possible when we want to make lasting change. It’s an in-built human urge to free ourselves from painful patterns of behaviour and seek peace, happiness and contentment immediately. When an individual has deep-rooted beliefs and unconscious patterns that have kept them stuck in unhappiness most of their life, this is something that requires persistence to change.It means that an individual would have to keep persevering through the ups and downs, through the disappointments and sometimes inevitable frustration.It means that the same goal might have to be looked at from different angles until a breakthrough happens.
Do you find yourself setting a goal and then getting overwhelmed too quickly?Do you find that the minute you hit a difficulty, you give up straight away? Do you have a low tolerance for frustration?
Resilience can be defined as an individual’s ability to properly adapt to stress and adversity. It is about an individual’s ability to manage difficult emotions that arise in times of difficulty, without supressing them.
Research shows that resilience is actually more common, than uncommon, as life has many ups and downs and people are having to adapt all the time to many difficult situations.
A person’s attitude is the most important element of having resilience. If someone generally has a negative thinking style, this is not helpful to having resilience.
There are a few many important attributes associated with resilience:
The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.
A positive and self-accepting view of yourself and confidence in your strengths and abilities.
Skills in communication and problem solving.
The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses without complaining about any struggles or falling into self-pity when setbacks arise.
Adaptability-The ability to act flexibly in changing or challenging circumstances.
Asking for support or accepting support from others. Positive, supportive relationships are key to coping in tough times.
Having humour- Finding light moments in depressing times can sometimes help lift the mood.
Being aware of unhealthy thoughts that may pop up and don’t benefit you in times of adversity.
Now that you are aware of what makes someone resilient, what happens when you need to develop more resilience? What steps could you take?
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Take care of yourself and treat yourself with respect, comfort & acceptance.
Try and be hopeful for the future no matter what the current circumstances. A positive outlook is very important.
Ask for support from friends or family
Look for opportunities of self-discovery. Adversity isn’t obviously welcomed but if something negative happens, look at how you handle it and learn something about yourself.
Accept that change is part of living
Make decisions or take actions when confronted with a difficult situation. Don’t avoid it!
Set small goals that are easy for you to reach. It doesn’t matter how small. The more you achieve, the better you will feel
If you are spiritual, use your faith to support you.Prayer or meditation can be very helpful
Journaling, blogging, art therapy or other therapies can also be useful in developing resilience.
I would love to hear your thoughts on resilience. Is there anything in particular that happened which improved your resilience? Do you think you are resilient or do you think you could develop better resilience?