I always thought that my youtube channel would be for a small audience. I thought that it might get around 100 subscribers and that would be all. I was interested in sharing important information to help others and as well as having this blog, youtube has turned out to be more successful than I had anticipated! The success of it is in the fact that it is reaching so many people and that it is actually helping people suffering from narcissistic abuse feel validated & heard.
Although my blog posts and youtube videos are temporarily on hold, due to not finding the time or energy to create new ones, my appreciation for those of you who follow my work is very much present. My determination to help more people is also still there.
I am currently very busy, with my new puppy, with my work and with keeping everything else in my life in order.
Unfortunately, there isn’t much time left to write or create videos as often as I would like.
Living with CPTSD means that I am absolutely knackered most of the time and my new puppy is definetely adding to my exhaustion, although totally worth it!
This blog post is just to say a big thank you to all my subscribers & followers and to share a photo of my new miniature wirehaired daschund girl Daula.
After a wonderful 10 days off work, celebrating my birthday with friends and exploring new places with my husband, I am feeling grateful and refreshed.
Today’s topic is especially important to me, as someone I care about deeply is currently suffering with this type of depression.
Although high functioning depression is a milder form of depression, it is equally as important as other types of depression.
When it comes to depression, many of us envision a person caught in the depths of despair and hopelessness, who wants nothing more than to stay in bed and avoid people and work completely. We envision someone who has lost all interest in the things they love, who may be feeling suicidal and is barely holding it together.
Although the above isn’t inaccurate, it doesn’t portray life as a high functioning depressive.
When someone suffers with mild or high functioning depression, the typical joy and laughter they once felt, is usually replaced by an absence of emotion and a very deep feeling of emptiness.
This is known as anhedonia and it is the loss of interest in previously rewarding or enjoyable activities.
To the outside world they seem like they are coping fine. They are still able to go to work every day and communicate effectively. They are still able to reach goals and get out of bed in the morning.
The most unfortunate part of those with this milder form of depression is that when they talk about their feelings to loved ones and even doctors, they aren’t taken seriously enough.
Unless someone is literally unable to function, they seem to be dismissed as not having anything to worry about. This isn’t good!
When life circumstances change, those experiencing mild depression may be at greater risk for moderate to severe depression if treatment isn’t sought early enough.
This is also discussed in my youtube video, so feel free to share if you think it may help someone you know.
It’s been an extremely busy few days for me recently, which means my blog posts and youtube videos have had to take a back seat.
Work has been a priority, with little time for writing and reflecting.
I have also had an influx of emails from people needing immediate support dealing with narcissistic individuals. It always deeply saddens me to hear all the grief so many are currently experiencing and sometimes I wish I could just take all their pain away.
The ‘No contact’ question has been popping up a lot, so in this video I stress the importance of acceptance. Acceptance in this case, of the fact that a narcissist isn’t able to love or empathize and isn’t going to change and treat you better.
Once you manage to reach a place of acceptance through grief and talking with a professional, it is then easier to make the decision to go ‘no contact’.
It is important to raise awareness about the challenges a sibling faces when their brother or sister has special needs.
Many years ago, when I came across a book writen by a woman who grew up with a special needs sister and the struggles she and so many others like her faced, I felt validated for the first time in my life.
For this reason, I wanted to create a video about this important but mostly neglected topic.
If you have experience with this, then please feel comfortable enough to comment. If you think this video might help others in similar situations, then please re-blog.
I am hope you are enjoying your weekend and are generally doing ok.
Before I fly off to Scotland tomorrow, I wanted to upload Monday’s Youtube video early, as I won’t be able to work on it when visiting family.
This week’s video is about an abusive behaviour & defense mechanism that people with narcissistic personality disorder use very frequently.
Projection is something I experienced most of my life from my mother and it is something that was immensely painful.
This is the definition of Projection according to Wikipedia:
Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others. For example, a person who is habitually rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude. It incorporates blame shifting.
Happy Monday everyone! I hope your week started well 🙂
Today’s video, which unfortunately took me ages to edit due to many interruptions & distractions, is about pathological lying. Although I talk about other types of lying, I particularly wanted to highlight the importance of pathological lying because it is the most destructive form of lying there is. Compulsive lying is also similar, although not as spiteful.
Individuals which are high on the narcissistic spectrum (NPD’d, Malignant narcissists, Psychopaths, ASPD’d) are very skilled pathological liars.
Please like,share & subscribe to my youtube channel if you find this video helpful!
You might have heard of the term infantilization but you may not realise how incredibly abusive it is when a parent does this to their child.
It is only natural for a growing child to start developing independent thoughts, actions and opinions. For a narcissistic parent this can be very threatening, as they want to continue controlling their child and use them for narcissistic supply.
Check out my video for an explanation of what infantilization is.
Some examples of infantilization are as follows:
A parent stops a teenager from socialising with friends or doesn’t allow them any privacy in their bedroom. The parent may still treat them as if they are a young child whereas a teenager needs growing independence and privacy.
A parent buys their child age-inappropriate clothing and/or arranges age-inappropriate activities.
A parent might not allow the child to speak for themselves, when they are asked a question directly by somebody else.
A parent might discourage the child from pursuing new interests as they don’t want the child to become more skilled at new things than they are.
If a parent isn’t able to have healthy relationships, they may try to influence the child against their choice of partner. They can’t allow their child to leave the family nest. The parent wants to continue their enmeshed relationship for as long as possible.
The effects of infantilization are as follows:
The adult child ends up having chronically low self-esteem
The adult child has difficulties academically
The adult child may find getting a job difficult
The adult child learns helplessness and enabling
The adult child may self-harm
The adult child may have poor social skills
The adult child may self-sabotage
The adult child may become avoidant
If you can relate to any of what I have written or said in the video, then please re-blog so it reaches more people.
Knowledge is power and with knowledge comes healing. To also further promote healing on a larger scale, I have recently signed up to patreon to further support my creations of videos, pdfs & hopefully in the near future, e-books.
Patreon is a platform that enables creators to reach new goals by having their followers & supporters fund their work.
If you find my videos & blog posts helpful, then please check out my patreon page.
It would mean the world to me to be able to reach more people and help them on their journey of recovery.
Sexual abuse of any kind, whether that is long term childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault, has a profound effect on whoever experiences it.
Since starting my first blog nearly 2 years ago, I have come across so many sexual abuse survivors, who have brought me to tears with their resilience and courageousness. I have met both men and women who have been through hell and back and have suffered far worse experiences than I ever did. This video was created with them in mind and for one of them in particular who asked me to do a video on this important topic.
I have learnt so much more about myself through doing research on this heartbreaking topic. I have also learnt how insidious sexual abuse can be and how many layers of trauma a survivor has to work through before reaching a more comfortable state of being.This video will be PART 1 of a 2 video series.It is such a sensitive topic and I want to make sure I cover as much as possible for those who may be affected by a past experience and may not even realise it yet. I am currently working through a list of questions that survivors can ask themselves, so they can have a better idea of where their difficulties lie in relation to sexual intimacy. At the end of this first video I have included some of these questions. How many of these did you answer ‘Yes’ to? I really hope that your answer is ‘None’.
Thank you to those of you who have recently followed my blog and youtube channel.I am very grateful. Tomorrow I have the morning off my German class so will be catching up as much as possible on all your posts and comments.Despite my busy schedule at the moment, I have still been managing to upload videos to Youtube every week and luckily the topics I talk about are still helping a few of you.
The Q & A videos have been a success and I still have quite a few unanswered emails to sort through, so please bear with me.
The Christmas break (although most definetely not my favourite time of year) will give me the opportunity to do more videos in response to your questions.
Today’s YouTube video focuses on the cycle of codependence and how is starts & worsens over time.
Codependency is very real and is a result of living in a home with an alcoholic parent, an abusive parent or a parent with a mental illness. Codependency develops when you put your own needs & feelings aside as a child, to care for & comfort a sick parent. Not everyone agrees with this point of view, however I have been through it and know the challenges associated with it.
Reaching out to all of those who struggle with their mental health means the world to me, especially to those who have suffered trauma and live with the result of this trauma.
I know how it feels to be invalidated.
I know how it feels to be called too sensitive or to just get over it.
Stigma towards mental illness is very much alive.
By sharing your experiences and spreading awareness in any way possible, this helps others understand better what it might be like for those who struggle.
If you can relate to this video, or think it will help someone you care about, then please share it with love ♥