Approval seeking is a very common behaviour that all of us are guilty of at some point in our life. It might be that we are trying to impress someone we like, make a new friend or make a good impression on our new boss. It is perfectly normal to seek approval in others occasionally.
Approval seeking only becomes a problem when we do it chronically. When we constantly seek to be validated externally because we don’t feel comfortable to accept ourselves as we are.
This is the topic of today’s video, which I felt was very important for those of you who are people-pleasers and/or codependents.
This is my 2nd attempt to write this blog post, after the last one was unfortunately lost. 😦
I hope you all had a good Christmas weekend and managed to relax and enjoy time with your loved ones. For those of you who find Christmas tough due to past trauma or dysfunctional relationships, you have just survived yet another Christmas, so give yourself a pat on the back and treat yourself to something you enjoy. The New Year is nearly here and with it comes new hope and a renewed sense of direction. 🙂
The following youtube video is 1 day late, due to the fact that I allowed myself a little time to relax over the last 3 days. I caught up on some much needed sleep and I started studying for my German exam (which is fast approaching).
In my own recovery back in 2008, I was introduced to the concept of letting go of relationships that no longer served me. I was introduced to the concept of emotionally detaching from a toxic person. Although at first this was extremely hard to do, with practice and with time, I slowly started making changes for the better. I started learning to put my self-care first and to set boundaries. I started noticing the repetitive patterns that were present in my relationships and I started questioning the reasons as to why I couldn’t choose healthier relationships. In my case, the narcissistically abusive background I come from, is what influenced my choice of abusive or unavailable partners, friends & even colleagues.
This video is for those of you who are just starting out in your recovery from dysfunctional relationships, so I really hope it helps ♥
Thank you to those of you who have recently followed my blog and youtube channel.I am very grateful. Tomorrow I have the morning off my German class so will be catching up as much as possible on all your posts and comments.Despite my busy schedule at the moment, I have still been managing to upload videos to Youtube every week and luckily the topics I talk about are still helping a few of you.
The Q & A videos have been a success and I still have quite a few unanswered emails to sort through, so please bear with me.
The Christmas break (although most definetely not my favourite time of year) will give me the opportunity to do more videos in response to your questions.
Today’s YouTube video focuses on the cycle of codependence and how is starts & worsens over time.
Codependency is very real and is a result of living in a home with an alcoholic parent, an abusive parent or a parent with a mental illness. Codependency develops when you put your own needs & feelings aside as a child, to care for & comfort a sick parent. Not everyone agrees with this point of view, however I have been through it and know the challenges associated with it.
Reaching out to all of those who struggle with their mental health means the world to me, especially to those who have suffered trauma and live with the result of this trauma.
I know how it feels to be invalidated.
I know how it feels to be called too sensitive or to just get over it.
Stigma towards mental illness is very much alive.
By sharing your experiences and spreading awareness in any way possible, this helps others understand better what it might be like for those who struggle.
If you can relate to this video, or think it will help someone you care about, then please share it with love ♥
I hope you are all enjoying your weekend to the best of your ability.To those of you struggling at the moment, I hope you are doing ok and reaching out for support. The blogging community is filled with wonderful, caring people and it is important to keep this community positive and encouraging. To those of you who need it, I am sending you a big hug! ♥ Take it one step at a time ♥
As some of my regural readers know, I am off to London tomorrow until Thursday to visit family and friends, while my husband is away for work.My Youtube videos are usually posted every Monday, however due to the fact I am off to London tomorrow, I decided to do this one a little earlier.
I talk about Complex PTSD once again, as there are so many of you who suffer with it and I am pretty sure that you need some hope, to keep fighting it and keep moving forward. Through lots of research and from my own personal experience, I talk about the most helpful things you can do to support your healing.
