Emotional abandonment is a huge part of growing up with emotionally unavailable parents. Parents who in many cases have NPD but also parents who are alcoholics or addicts or just too immature to have brought a child into this world.
Is this a topic you can relate to?
Did you feel emotionally abandoned and still suffer with people-pleasing tendencies, perfectionism or avoidant tendencies?
Feel free to share your experience in the comments below.
Love Athina x
How many of you find it easy to admit to your weaknesses? How often do you struggle with admitting a weakness to a friend or partner or even to yourself?
Do you ever feel a sting when a close person in your life points out a weakness that you weren’t aware you had? Or maybe it is just that person’s opinion but not your own? It’s tough knowing sometimes, whether we actually have that weakness that this person is pointing out to us..Is the sting we feel trying to tell us that maybe it is actually true?!
What one person considers a weakness doesn’t mean that the other person thinks so too..
For example, I may think that it is a weakness for someone to expect me to be perfect, when I am actually completely comfortable being less than perfect. It is not my problem this other person needs perfection from those around him, including me. I personally find the need to be perfect exhausting, therefore I am more happy to give everything my best shot and even if it doesn’t turn out amazingly, at least I tried.
Another point worth mentioning, is the difficulty some of us may have when it comes to admitting fault or weakness, because we actually fear what others think of us. If we are actually perfectionists by nature and set ourselves high standards all the time, then to admit that we have actually failed at something is out of the question. It is in this very case, I believe, that we need to work more on ourselves. Our own thoughts and the way we see the world, can either make our life more fulfilling or severely limiting. Some of us also may find criticism excruciatinly painful, because deep down we know we are flawed, wrong or not good enough. This may be because of negative programming in our childhood or from pressure to always show our best and most socially acceptable side.
Accepting and embracing our weaknesses, increases our awareness of where we might be limiting ourselves.
If someone has harmed us and this has impacted us in a destructive way, then this is slightly different. We have a right to be angry and put the blame where it belongs (in the case of murder,domestic abuse, child abuse etc). Working through grief about the unfotunate things that happen to us in life, is necessary for healing. Despite this though, we are still in charge of how we deal with whatever life has dealt us. It is always up to us to work hard at making changes in the areas we suffer with the most.We can either be a victim and sit back and point fingers at everyone else or we can take responsibility and take small steps to creating opportunities from our challenges.
Love Athina ♥
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Humans are fallible beings and we all have moments where we over-complicate the way we live our lives.
It is very difficut to balance our work-family-personal life without getting overwhelmed.
There are always those overly boring tasks that we always put off or that presentation at work that we have to get perfect. Many of us find rejection quite painful and have thoughts such as ‘No one will ever love me again’ or ‘I’m just not attractive enough’. Others find it easier to make excuses and blame their failings on their past. Being a victim is easier than taking responsibility for our own life.
Many of us are control-freaks and want to go as far as controlling what we are physically unable to control, like other people’s opinions or reactions to us.
There are many thinking errors that we all indulge in but how do you even recognise you are making such errors in the first place?
When people suffer from depression & anxiety, thinking errors are very common as they are part of the illness. Cognitive behavioural coaching can be very useful for tackling these unhelpful thinking patterns. There are many models and exercises that can be very helpful in helping someone get ‘unstuck’ and the coach is trained to use these models in a conversational way with the person they are coaching.
In my own experience, I have found coaching very helpful in dealing with anxiety inducing situations. What is your experience? Have you had coaching before? Is it something you would ever consider?
Take a little look at the different links on this page and if you are curious in any way, then let me know.
I am offering free coaching sessions to the first 10 people that read this blog post and make themselves known.
COURAGE COACHING 