In this video, I talk about narcissists and whether they have a moral compass.
In some cases, people may argue that narcissists can actually feel guilt when they have done something wrong and they can also feel ashamed.
It is important to take into account that somebody with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) also has a unique character, history of trauma and a certain outlook on life. All these must be taken into account when considering whether they have a moral compass.
In my experience, I would say narcissists definitely choose to ignore the things that they have done wrong to others but are quick to inflict the moral high ground on others, if they don’t agree with what these others have done.
‘You are the light that refused to surrender’ is a wonderful way to look at your healing journey after experiencing trauma.
If you, like me, have a history of trauma, you will be very familiar with the ups and downs of living with CPTSD. For me personally, having hope in my lowest moments, was the 1 thing that kept me going when things truly felt hopeless.
Having hope means that you allow yourself to believe that the day WILL come where you WILL feel better, where things will feel less scary, less isolating and less depressing.
It’s important to never stop hoping when things get tough and to allow yourself to embrace that feeling wholeheartedly.
Practicing gratitude is also extremely important for improving mental health. Be grateful for any tiny steps of progress you make, even if you managed to do 1 additional thing today that you didn’t manage to do the day before.
Living with mental illness is never easy but it can be manageable. Living with mental illness means that you might have to constantly make adjustments to the way you live your life, in order to feel better.These adjustments may look like the following: Changing your diet, adding more exercise to your daily routine, cutting out sugar, moving to the countryside, ending a relationship, leaving a stressful job, practicing meditation, seeking out support from a specialised therapist, going on a retreat, taking supplements and/or using medication. Each journey with mental illness is unique so what might work for one person may not necessarily work for another. Try things out, see what works and go from there.
Darkness may have been a big part of your past and may still creep up on you in the present. This is realistic as life can be tough even when you don’t live with a mental illness.The only way through this darkness however is to find the light. The light could be anything: a therapist, a close friend, a partner, a beloved pet, being in nature, a safe space, art, music or anything else that brings you comfort.
Most importantly however, you must try and find the light within yourself, within your heart and soul.
In those moments of relentless anxiety, depression or emotional flashbacks, love yourself unconditionally. Take yourself by the hand, like you would a small child and tell yourself ‘ I’ve got you, you are not alone’… ‘ I am there for you, unconditionally’.
If you are having a tough day, then I hope this post helps a little.
Traumatic aloneness is something that I have experienced over and over again in my 41 years on this planet. It is a natural result of having grown up in a dysfunctional family where my parents didn’t meet my emotional needs.
”Traumatic aloneness is a hole that was supposed to be filled when we were babies with the things we needed to feel loved and important. It is a hole that can now never be filled…To be healed it needs to be recognised, listened to and nurtured. Trauma therapy can go some way to repair it and ease the pain, but the hole although smaller, might always be there. However, we can learn to recognise it, soothe it, hold it and nurture it. We can learn to have connections and closeness with others”.
Narcissistic parents are incredibly destructive to a child’s emotional & mental wellbeing. The 6 lies I talk about in this video, are very common in most narcissistically abusive households.
If this is your background or if you suspect that your upbringing may have been dysfunctional, then this video is for you!
Revictimization is common when you have suffered childhood trauma. Childhood trauma, particularly narcissistic abuse primes individuals to be more vulnerable to further abuse.
If you find yourself constantly attracting toxic individuals, then this video is for you.
Shame can be both good and bad. It can protect us from hurting others by commiting shameless acts but it can also be incredibly destructive when we feel ashamed for our mere existence. Shame is something that our abusive caregivers pass onto us by shaming us for things that they shouldn’t have.
In this post, I wanted to mention the important topic of gaslighting.
If we have survived years of emotional abuse by a parent or a partner who has been gaslighting us, this then ends up becoming our own internal voice. This is known as gaslighting ourselves.
Although most of my content focuses on what narcissism and dysfunction look like and I highlight how to avoid toxic individuals and protect yourself from them, in this post I want to talk about the importance of healthy mothering and what this actually looks like.
For those of us who didn’t have a healthy mother as a role model, having children of our own can be incredibly daunting, scary and overwhelming. We might be terrified of repeating dysfunctional patterns of behaviour and we want to make sure that our children are happy and healthy.
In this YouTube video, I talk about what a healthy loving mother looks like. Although I am not a mother myself, I have many friends who are mums and I can see what a wonderful job they are doing with their children. I have also extensively researched good mothering from a developmental and psychological viewpoint. I very much know what I wouldn’t do if I ever became a mother and that would be to not treat my child the way my mother treated me.
I experienced emotional neglect, emotional abuse, lack of attunement from my mother, emotional parentification and continuous invalidation of my emotions. I was born to ‘serve’ my mother’s needs and later to also look after my special needs brother.
If you are a mother then I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section.
Narcissistic mothers, especially the covert type, are experts at projection and will habitually project their own negative emotions onto their children.
Selfishness is one of them.
Many adult children of narcissistic parents will have experienced this in some capacity or their parent may have simply called them something else, such as ‘spoilt’ or ‘too sensitive’.
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