For those of you who didn’t manage to join my 1st support group for adult children of narcissistic mothers, I am also starting a 2nd online support group which is exclusively for daughters of narcissistic mothers.
If you struggle with symptoms of trauma, with feeling isolated on your healing journey and with feelings of shame or low self-worth, then this support group will help you!
Growing up with a narcissistic mother can leave deep wounds — confusion, guilt, low self-worth, and complex grief. This safe online support group is here for daughters recovering from narcissistic maternal abuse, offering understanding, validation, and tools for healing.
💜 What you’ll find here:
A safe, judgment-free space to share your story
Connection with others who truly “get it”
Support for breaking cycles of guilt, shame, and gaslighting
Gentle strategies for boundaries, self-care, and inner healing
There will be two 90min online video calls per month with a maximum of 8 people. This will be a closed support group which fosters a safe, confidential and deeper level of intimacy and trust among members. This means that the same people only will be a part of this group, without any new people joining.
Talking to others in support groups reduces anxiety, improves self-esteem, and helps members’ sense of well-being overall.
It will initially run for a total of 6 sessions, over a period of 3 months and we will then reassess how to move forward.
If you are interested in joining this online support group, please email me at courageisallyouneed@gmail.com or leave a comment below with your name and email.
I will be facilitating this online group and I very much look forward to welcoming you!
Self-silencing is much more common that people think.
Feeling too afraid to express your true thoughts, desires, and emotions often stems from childhood experiences in environments where self-expression didn’t feel safe. This behavior is frequently shaped by generational patterns passed down unconsciously, where parents, influenced by their own upbringing and unresolved trauma, lacked the tools to create a space for open and secure communication.
If you recognize that you have a tendency to self-silence, it’s essential to take proactive steps toward building healthier habits and learning to express yourself more openly and authentically.
Watch my video below, to gain more clarity on self-silencing.
Navigating the relationship with a mother-in-law can be challenging under normal circumstances, but when she exhibits narcissistic traits, it can feel like walking a tightrope. A narcissistic mother-in-law often demands to be the center of attention, thrives on control, and struggles to respect boundaries. She may use manipulation, guilt, or passive-aggressive comments to maintain her perceived dominance in the family dynamic.
Dealing with a narcissistic mother-in-law requires patience, clear boundaries, and a strong sense of self. While it can be tempting to appease her or avoid conflict altogether, addressing the behavior with kindness and firmness is key to maintaining a healthy relationship—not just with her, but also with your spouse. If of course the relationship becomes unbearable, then it is time to discuss things with your partner about how to set boundaries and make things more comfortable in the long run.
For a more detailed account of the 14 signs of a narcissistic mother in-law, please watch my new YouTube video below! Please like, share and subscribe if you appreciate my content!
Cognitive Bypassing is the practice of avoiding feelings by detouring into cognitive ideas or beliefs. It means that we tend to overthink in order to avoid uncomfortable emotions such as grief, fear or anger.
There is nothing wrong with using cognitive strategies as part of your emotional well-being. However, when every negative emotion must be analysed, changed or explained cognitively, this is counterproductive. Compulsively adding cognition to emotion means that you don’t ever allow your traumas to fully heal. The uncomfortable truth is that there is a component of painful emotions that simply must be felt, as hard as that may be to hear.
Healing trauma has more to do with embracing the feeling in the body than holding on to the thoughts of the mind. Somatic healing is crucial in recovery from trauma when you live with CPTSD. Allowing yourself to grieve the losses of your childhood is also a huge part of the healing process. Throwing CBT techniques at clients who suffer with trauma just isn’t enough!
Different therapies that enable us to somatically process trauma are very important in healing childhood trauma. Art therapy, dance therapy, drama therapy, play therapy as well as somatic healing, EMDR, sensorimotor therapy and accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy are all very important.
Most of us who have experienced trauma, find ways to constantly avoid our emotions by overthinking but also by comfort eating, doing drugs or drinking alcohol, being compulsive, dissociating and so much more.
How many of us actually just sit with our uncomfortable emotions and allow ourselves to self soothe, allow ourselves to have a good cry and share what we are actually feeling? Do we actually allow ourselves to feel our sadness or fear and just give it the space to be present without analysing it? This isn’t easy for many of us. As much as it isn’t easy, we have to find ways to make room for it and really feel whatever comes up.
‘You are the light that refused to surrender’ is a wonderful way to look at your healing journey after experiencing trauma.
If you, like me, have a history of trauma, you will be very familiar with the ups and downs of living with CPTSD. For me personally, having hope in my lowest moments, was the 1 thing that kept me going when things truly felt hopeless.
Having hope means that you allow yourself to believe that the day WILL come where you WILL feel better, where things will feel less scary, less isolating and less depressing.
It’s important to never stop hoping when things get tough and to allow yourself to embrace that feeling wholeheartedly.
Practicing gratitude is also extremely important for improving mental health. Be grateful for any tiny steps of progress you make, even if you managed to do 1 additional thing today that you didn’t manage to do the day before.
Living with mental illness is never easy but it can be manageable. Living with mental illness means that you might have to constantly make adjustments to the way you live your life, in order to feel better.These adjustments may look like the following: Changing your diet, adding more exercise to your daily routine, cutting out sugar, moving to the countryside, ending a relationship, leaving a stressful job, practicing meditation, seeking out support from a specialised therapist, going on a retreat, taking supplements and/or using medication. Each journey with mental illness is unique so what might work for one person may not necessarily work for another. Try things out, see what works and go from there.
Darkness may have been a big part of your past and may still creep up on you in the present. This is realistic as life can be tough even when you don’t live with a mental illness.The only way through this darkness however is to find the light. The light could be anything: a therapist, a close friend, a partner, a beloved pet, being in nature, a safe space, art, music or anything else that brings you comfort.
Most importantly however, you must try and find the light within yourself, within your heart and soul.
In those moments of relentless anxiety, depression or emotional flashbacks, love yourself unconditionally. Take yourself by the hand, like you would a small child and tell yourself ‘ I’ve got you, you are not alone’… ‘ I am there for you, unconditionally’.
If you are having a tough day, then I hope this post helps a little.
2023 is finally upon us and it is common for some of us to have plans for a fresh start in one or two areas of our life. This could be to tackle our health, our mental health, a change of job, or to end a relationship that no longer serves us. It could also be a new beginning in terms of getting married, moving home or starting a family. It all depends on how fortunate we are, what part of the world we live in, how blessed we are to have safety, family, a job or even the freedom to live as we wish.
Survival in this world is tough when we don’t have the means, the support system, the education, a good start in life, good health and loving people around us. Leaving our comfort zone can be very scary when we don’t have some of these needs met.
War is still driving so many families to seek refuge in unfamiliar territory and for those who choose to stay, they are faced with daily uncertainty, fear and loss. Why is one human life more important than another? It is such a cruel world we live in yet many of us still want to bring children into it to satisfy our personal needs of being parents.
In my lifetime so far, I have encountered so much abuse, neglect and nastiness from people that it has been truly disheartening to believe in the good of humans. There is so much inequality, unfairness and immorality. Humans keep making the same mistakes, hurting each other, themselves and other beings. There is generational trauma with no end in sight.
How do you cope in a world with such emotional complexity when you are a highly sensitive person (HSP) or empath?
As one myself, I truly find solace in the little things and my daily routines. I avoid watching the news, aspire to filling my day with uplifting rituals and by cocooning myself and my family within our own little bubble, I feel completely at peace, safe and content. By practicing gratitude for the things I am blessed with, I find joy in being alive. By supporting and helping others, I feel a sense of reward. When I encounter people who are strong, compassionate and generous, despite the fact that they may have had it tough in their lives, I feel hopeful.
Humans can also be wonderful, caring & brilliant souls that inspire others and bring positivity into the world. I would rather surround myself with these types of humans and have a smaller social circle rather than subject myself to energy vampires or narcissists. There will always be good and bad and a mixture of both. Not everyone is our ‘cup of tea’ and not everyone will contribute to our life in a way that is fulfilling.
How do you cope in this world as a HSP or empath?
How do you deal with the rollercoaster of emotions that hit you when you are overstimulated by the injustice and wrongs in your environment?
What is your experience?
If you relate to this post, then feel free to share your experience in the comments below.
A little over 3 months ago, I finally made the decision to embark on a sugar free lifestyle. This has ultimately been life changing for me and required buckets of discipline and persistently resisting temptation.
In this post, I will talk about why I made this decision and what changes I have noticed, especially after a lifetime of constantly eating too much sugar.
The following video was hugely inspiring to me but my dear friend ‘Ketodawg’ was the main reason I embarked on this life-changing journey.
I will talk a little more about ‘Ketodawg’ in my next post but for now, please watch this video before reading any further.
Many of you, just like me, have probably enjoyed eating pasta, bread and starchy foods for as long as you remember. Many of you have a sweet tooth and can’t imagine life without sugar or processed food.
In my case, my childhood was filled with sugar. Both my parents had a sweet tooth and they allowed me to eat and drink sugary things as young as 2 or 3 years of age. I preferred drinking chocolate milk instead of regular milk and loved sugary cereals for breakfast. We always had packs of biscuits in the house and I learned to bake cakes before I learned to cook food.
In many households, this was and still is the norm.
Did you know that more than 5 grams of sugar in your bloodstream, can already be harmful to our bodies? Our bodies are not made to carry more than this amount in any given moment.
If I take a moment to consider what my daily intake of sugar and carbs was for most of my life, I would say it exceeded 200grams a day. I am pretty sure I was already insulin resistant, which would have eventually lead to type 2 DIABETES.
I loved comfort food, so would regularly cook high carb foods such as pasta, rice and potatoes and I enjoyed bakery items, cakes and biscuits daily. I managed to reduce the sugar in my tea from 2 teaspoons to half a teaspoon, but that was still not good enough, as I was drinking 6-8 cups of green tea per day. At my absolute worst, I weighed 72 kilos. I was completely addicted to sugar, had always been an emotional eater and essentially learnt bad eating habits from a young age.
My father developed type 2 diabetes from an unhealthy, overindulgent diet and this is sadly what killed him in the end, at age 70.
For nearly 3 months now, I have been following the Keto Diet which means reduced carbs, no sugar and lots of healthy fats and leafy greens. This reduction in carbs puts your body into a metabolic state called ketosis. When this happens, your body becomes incredibly efficient at burning fat for energy. It also turns fat into ketones in the liver, which can supply energy for the brain.
The first week I started Keto, I was having intense cravings for all the foods I couldn’t eat. I was reluctant to throw out all of the yummy biscuits that I had brought back from a trip to Greece. I was also convinced that I wouldn’t be able to give up pasta, which was my go-to food most of the time, especially when I was really busy with work.
In the first 10 days of my Keto diet, I experienced Keto flu symptoms just as I had predicted from the research I had done. I reduced my intake of carbohydrates and sugars to a maximum of 25grams per day, which in turn made me feel lightheaded, fatigued, irritable, low and achey. To compensate, I was drinking plenty of fluids so I could feel better. A keto diet can cause you to rapidly shed water stores, increasing the risk of dehydration.
After this initial 10 day period, my cravings for sugary foods had gone and I was getting used to my new lifestyle.
My body had already started burning ketones from fat instead of glucose. This was evident in the fact that I had started losing weight.
The most amazing thing I started noticing was that I was no longer having these afternoon energy crashes, where I felt like I was going to fall asleep. I also felt like I had better mental clarity, less of a ‘foggy head’ and my energy levels overall were hugely improved.
I lost a total of 10 kilos, which I am extremely proud of and I feel much more confident in my body than I used to.
Last but not least, I have generally felt more stable in myself. As I have lived with the effects of CPTSD all my life, I have definitely noticed that I am much calmer and more positive now. This has been extremely important to me, as I never wanted to be on medication for my symptoms.
My friends and loved ones have also noticed that I am much better in myself and have even commented on my skin, saying that I have a healthier glow.
Overall, I would highly recommend cutting out sugar and processed foods.
Since these lead to chronic inflammation in the body, which eventually cause Type 2 Diabetes , Cancer, Alzheimers and ill mental and physical health, it is a no brainer for anyone that is looking to be healthier.
If you suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD or CPTSD I would highly recommend changing your diet, before resorting to medication. A good diet and regular exercise does make a huge difference. I have seen the results myself.
What is your experience?
Do you pay attention to what you eat and listen to your body?
Have you noticed any changes at all when cutting out sugar and processed food?
I hope you have all survived the holiday period and are feeling optimistic about this year. I am very much hoping we will see the end of the Covid pandemic this year and our lives can return to a semi-normal state. I also hope that our mental health will improve and that we will find ways to feel more in tune with ourselves, our needs, our bodies and our minds.
Mental health has been affected so much over the last couple of years due to the pandemic but it has been even tougher for those of us who have had numerous other struggles due to a traumatic past, toxic family members, grief, financial insecurity and other physical health issues.
For those of us specifically, who struggle with anxiety and CPTSD, we know all too well how tricky it is to keep our emotions regulated when we are triggered or scared.
Personally, as a lot of you may already know, I have always struggled with anxiety and low mood. Over the last couple of years however, I have been able to manage my symptoms much more successfully. This has made it easier for me to support others through my coaching and Youtube channel and to also continue to work on my own personal development through more training. Yoga has become a big part of my life, as is walking my dog and trying to keep active. Deep breathing and mindfulness has also helped immensely but the one thing I still struggled with until recently, was getting myself to an immediate state of calm when in the grips of anxiety.
The worst of my anxiety is usually when I travel by plane or when I have to do something that puts me in the spotlight. I also get extremely anxious when I think about losing someone I am attached to. Just before Christmas, I decided to try something completely different and was gifted something that eases anxiety. Although I was rather skeptical at first, after reading so many good reviews about it, I decided to give it a go.
This device is called CalmiGO.
@mycalmigo
CalmiGO is scientifically proven and uses 3 methods to lower anxiety levels:
-Relaxing scent
-Multi-sensory stimulation or grounding
-Breathing regulation (exhalation prolongation)
These 3 methods combined, activate the parasympathetic nervous system and lower stress level hormones.
CalmiGO is drug free and safe to use and if you would like to find out more about it, then feel free to click on this link:
My experience with using CalmiGO so far has been absolutely brilliant.
After trying this device for 3 minutes as recommended, I immediately noticed a reduction in my anxiety levels.
The most important part of the device for me is that it encourages you to prolong your exhalation. This is scientifically proven to decrease those awful symptoms of anxiety such as dizziness, accelerated heart rate, nausea and chest pain. When we are anxious, we end up breathing much too fast which results in a decrease of PCO2 levels. CalmiGO reverses this with exhalation prolongation. Since prolonging my exhalation was always the trickiest part for me, CalmiGO has been incredibly helpful in getting me to do this successfully. It vibrates and lights up whenever you reach a long enough exhalation, so this helps immensely when you are doing this for 3 minutes or more. Take a look at the photos below for an idea of what CalmiGO looks like and how to use it.
When I ordered CalmiGO, it arrived wonderfully packaged and came with a very detailed guide on how to use it effectively. It came with a little rubber cover and also an easy to use pouch to carry it in. There was also a pack of AAA batteries, a small screwdriver and a pack of 2 scented element attachments. One of these scented element attachments is placed on the front of the device near the ‘on and off’ switch. My preferred choice was lavender but you can also choose peppermint or bergamot if you prefer.
Although there is a detailed guide on how to use it effectively, there is also a tutorial video which you can watch here:
Since I have found CalmiGO so incredibly useful in my personal life, I decided to collaborate with the founders of CalmiGO and I am offering a $30 discount on every purchase made through their website.
By adding the code COURAGE as a voucher when you add CalmiGO to your shopping cart, you get the above discount on the total price. Go to the link below to gets yours 🙂
CalmiGO really is an investment in a life with less anxiety.
For those of you who live with CPTSD or PTSD, CalmiGO will help ground you and if used every day for a month during a time where you are really struggling with panic and anxiety, you will see a huge decrease in your symptoms.
If you have any questions or would like to share your experience using CalmiGO, then please feel free to leave a comment below.
Over the last 9 months, I have been lucky enough to connect with Kayla on her brilliant journey of self-evolving. Kayla is a counsellor who very much enjoys supporting her clients in becoming the best version of themselves, as she also does for herself.
Kayla has created this brilliant brand which celebrates those of us who keep evolving and growing in our mental health journeys.
Kayla’s website is brilliant and deserves celebrating.
You can read about 3 self-evolvers’ journeys and also buy some brilliant clothing and accessories that are inspiring and mental health promoting.
You can also become an ambassador for the brand, if you think this is something you would enjoy.
couragecoaching.net 