September 10th-World Suicide Prevention Day

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Recovery from abuse- 3 basic stages & how to identify whether you have reached the acceptance stage of recovery

Happy Monday fellow bloggers. This is quite a late post, so I hope it reaches some of you.

I have just done another video on YouTube, where I talk about the 3 main stages of recovery that someone goes through, in particular concerning the recovery from childhood narcissistic abuse. I also talk a little bit about the acceptance stage of recovery, which I personally found the toughest in my own recovery.

Acceptance that you parents weren’t able to love you unconditionally, is a painful, rejecting reality. It is easier to spend most of your adult life being in denial of this, as it is such an incomprehensible reality to accept.

Once you are able to reach this stage of acceptance however, you feel like a huge burden has been lifted off you.

I wish all of you who struggle with this sort of realisation, to be able to finally reach this stage one day.

Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

EMDR- Preparation & what happens in session

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This is the 2nd of 2 informational videos about EMDR. In this video I explain a little more about finding an EMDR therapist and what to look for, what to expect during & after a session and I also give you an idea of what happens in each of the 8 phases of EMDR Therapy.

As someone who has used EMDR, I can highly recommend it for the treatment of PTSD & CPTSD.

Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

 

 

Setting boundaries with toxic people

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Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing -EMDR (Short term therapy for trauma)

Happy Monday dear friends! I have reached 100 followers on this page and I am very grateful for those of you who have supported this new venture. My other blog mychildwithin , documents a lot more about my healing journey and has already been around for just over 1 year. For those of you who already follow it, you may have read about how successful EMDR therapy has been for me, in regards to treating my trauma.

I uploaded a very quick informational video on Youtube about what EMDR is. I will be following this video with 2nd one that focuses on EMDR in a little more detail, in which I will talk about how it feels to have EMDR and what the different phases are that you go through.

As a narcissistic childhood abuse survivor, it has helped me neutralise my biggest traumas. That said, it isn’t of course suitable for everyone. I would recommend it through my own positive experience with it but I would urge you to research it really well and only find a qualified therapist who has training in it.

Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

Trauma bonding

Trauma bonding is the reason people choose abusive partners time and time again.

Trauma bonding is also known as Stockholm syndrome, something that is mentioned a lot when someone has been abducted.

Trauma bonding is something that starts in a person’s childhood, if they have suffered abuse or neglect.

If you are someone who keeps choosing emotionally unavailable partners or abusive partners, then this is why.

Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

It is wrong to silence survivors of abuse

As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and in honour of some of my followers who are also survivors of abuse, I want to do a short but very important post today about the unfortunate shaming & silencing that happens to survivors.

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It is absolutely horrendous to deny someone of their right to freely talk about their abuse and to deny them the ability to heal.Every time a survivor talks about the abuse to someone who validates them and acknowledges their pain, there is a small layer of healing taking place.

On the other hand, every time a survivor shares their story and isn’t believed, is shamed for not forgiving their abuser or is told to not go public about their abuse, it is destructive & extremely painful. It shows that the person shaming the survivor lacks empathy & understanding for the pain & trauma they have been through. It is re-traumatising and makes the survivor feel isolated & abused once again.

For those of you out there, who don’t know much about child abuse because you have been fortunate enough to grow up with healthy, loving parents please understand this:

Survivors require acknowledgement of their pain & suffering

Survivors require kindness & empathy

Survivors need to hear ‘I am so sorry for what you have been through’

Survivors need to be shown healthy lovely, healthy boundaries because they never learned these in their childhood..

Survivors DON’T want to be told to forgive their abusers

Survivors DON’T want to be told to stop talking about what happened to them just because you are uncomfortable with it.

Survivors DON’T want to be told to ‘Get over it because it was a long time ago’

Survivors DON’T need any more abuse, silencing or shaming.

Much love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

5 tips on healing codependency & dysfunctional relationships

This video is the 2nd one of my codependent series on my Youtube channel.

It is mostly informational in text, with the help of a few cute characters! Just the way I like it! ♥

Feel free to re-blog or share 🙂

I love cute things and music…so here you go ♥

Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

Codependents & Narcissists in a relationship. Why are they so attracted to each other?

Happy Monday to all of you! It’s the 1st of August today and time seems to have flown by so quickly!

Today’s post is about another topic very close to my heart, due to my own healing journey from codependency to healthy love. It most definetely wasn’t easy to get to where I am. It required perseverance, determination and a little bit of hope.

To heal from dysfunctional relationships & codependency, there are 5 steps that are important to take.Having a therapist who specialises in healing from codepedency, is important in guiding you.

  • The first step is becoming AWARE that your choices or actions are dysfunctional.
  • The second step to changing dysfunction is understanding the source of the dysfunction, so where did it come from?
  • The 3rd step is grieving the loss of a healthy childhood. An abusive childhood usually leads to poor choices in relationships & life in general. Without a stable & nurturing childhood you never learn healthy love, healthy boundaries & your emotional regulation is damaged.
  • The 4th step is understanding the complexity of changing self-defeating behaviours & changing certain defense mechanisms, that protected you in your childhood but no longer serve you in adulthood. It takes time, patience and self-compassion.
  • The 5th step is actually trying out new relationships when you have made progress in your healing. You have to make a few more mistakes and discuss these with a therapist by your side, so you can see where you went wrong and how to improve this next time.

When I first found out I was codependent back in 2008, it was like the blindfold was taken off my eyes for the first time. Before learning this, I had a suspicion that something wasn’t right in my relationships but I had no idea how to change this.

I felt like I was in an emotional maze and had no idea which way to go. Everytime I thought I was making better choices in regards to who I was in a relationship with, the more unbearable the heartbreak became.I desperately wanted to be loved but wasn’t able to figure out this painful puzzle! At some point I was so exhausted from the traumatic end of each relationship & the subsequent self abandonment, that I decided to move countries! I wanted a new start…I hoped that I might meet my future husband if I moved away but I never in a million years thought I actually would..Sometimes you need a little bit of luck too!

When I moved back home to Greece after 11 years of living in the UK, I was met with more drama, a flare up of my CPTSD and a father who abandoned me over and over again. I was back in therapy again with a new therapist and was finally diagnosed with CPTSD. I was told both my parents were ’emotionally handicapped’ but that therapist never told me my parents were narcissistic. Maybe she decided at the time that it wasn’t relevant to me.

Despite this she looked after me very well. Each step I took into uncertainty, she held my hand.

I was also entered into a group psychotherapy group and it was extremely beneficial. I was in a group with 5 other people that also had similar backgrounds and it was very healing.

Support is crucial in healing. Without all this I would never have made progress.

The video above is a simple explanation (I hope) of the general dynamics of a codependent & narcissist in a relationship. Maybe you will see yourself in this and get curious. If you do, then please connect with me and I would be happy to have a chat with you.

Please feel free to re-blog this post so it reaches more people! Thank you 🙂

Much Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

 

Speak your truth..

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Speak your truth, be yourself and if people don’t accept you then it is their loss, not yours!

If people don’t value your reality, your kindness, your honesty then they don’t deserve your time or your love.

When speaking your truth, have you ever felt overwhelmed with emotion? What has the emotion been? Anger, frustration, sadness, loss, disappointment?

The worst of all these for me was always frustration and then deep sadness..

When talking to a narcissistic parent, you feel all of these times 10!

Continuing to speak your truth despite the pain, frustration, loss and anger is very important…Don’t ever let anyone keep you silent..

Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.