For those of you who didn’t manage to join my 1st support group for adult children of narcissistic mothers, I am also starting a 2nd online support group which is exclusively for daughters of narcissistic mothers.
If you struggle with symptoms of trauma, with feeling isolated on your healing journey and with feelings of shame or low self-worth, then this support group will help you!
Growing up with a narcissistic mother can leave deep wounds — confusion, guilt, low self-worth, and complex grief. This safe online support group is here for daughters recovering from narcissistic maternal abuse, offering understanding, validation, and tools for healing.
💜 What you’ll find here:
A safe, judgment-free space to share your story
Connection with others who truly “get it”
Support for breaking cycles of guilt, shame, and gaslighting
Gentle strategies for boundaries, self-care, and inner healing
There will be two 90min online video calls per month with a maximum of 8 people. This will be a closed support group which fosters a safe, confidential and deeper level of intimacy and trust among members. This means that the same people only will be a part of this group, without any new people joining.
Talking to others in support groups reduces anxiety, improves self-esteem, and helps members’ sense of well-being overall.
It will initially run for a total of 6 sessions, over a period of 3 months and we will then reassess how to move forward.
If you are interested in joining this online support group, please email me at courageisallyouneed@gmail.com or leave a comment below with your name and email.
I will be facilitating this online group and I very much look forward to welcoming you!
Self-silencing is much more common that people think.
Feeling too afraid to express your true thoughts, desires, and emotions often stems from childhood experiences in environments where self-expression didn’t feel safe. This behavior is frequently shaped by generational patterns passed down unconsciously, where parents, influenced by their own upbringing and unresolved trauma, lacked the tools to create a space for open and secure communication.
If you recognize that you have a tendency to self-silence, it’s essential to take proactive steps toward building healthier habits and learning to express yourself more openly and authentically.
Watch my video below, to gain more clarity on self-silencing.
‘You are the light that refused to surrender’ is a wonderful way to look at your healing journey after experiencing trauma.
If you, like me, have a history of trauma, you will be very familiar with the ups and downs of living with CPTSD. For me personally, having hope in my lowest moments, was the 1 thing that kept me going when things truly felt hopeless.
Having hope means that you allow yourself to believe that the day WILL come where you WILL feel better, where things will feel less scary, less isolating and less depressing.
It’s important to never stop hoping when things get tough and to allow yourself to embrace that feeling wholeheartedly.
Practicing gratitude is also extremely important for improving mental health. Be grateful for any tiny steps of progress you make, even if you managed to do 1 additional thing today that you didn’t manage to do the day before.
Living with mental illness is never easy but it can be manageable. Living with mental illness means that you might have to constantly make adjustments to the way you live your life, in order to feel better.These adjustments may look like the following: Changing your diet, adding more exercise to your daily routine, cutting out sugar, moving to the countryside, ending a relationship, leaving a stressful job, practicing meditation, seeking out support from a specialised therapist, going on a retreat, taking supplements and/or using medication. Each journey with mental illness is unique so what might work for one person may not necessarily work for another. Try things out, see what works and go from there.
Darkness may have been a big part of your past and may still creep up on you in the present. This is realistic as life can be tough even when you don’t live with a mental illness.The only way through this darkness however is to find the light. The light could be anything: a therapist, a close friend, a partner, a beloved pet, being in nature, a safe space, art, music or anything else that brings you comfort.
Most importantly however, you must try and find the light within yourself, within your heart and soul.
In those moments of relentless anxiety, depression or emotional flashbacks, love yourself unconditionally. Take yourself by the hand, like you would a small child and tell yourself ‘ I’ve got you, you are not alone’… ‘ I am there for you, unconditionally’.
If you are having a tough day, then I hope this post helps a little.
I hope you have all survived the holiday period and are feeling optimistic about this year. I am very much hoping we will see the end of the Covid pandemic this year and our lives can return to a semi-normal state. I also hope that our mental health will improve and that we will find ways to feel more in tune with ourselves, our needs, our bodies and our minds.
Mental health has been affected so much over the last couple of years due to the pandemic but it has been even tougher for those of us who have had numerous other struggles due to a traumatic past, toxic family members, grief, financial insecurity and other physical health issues.
For those of us specifically, who struggle with anxiety and CPTSD, we know all too well how tricky it is to keep our emotions regulated when we are triggered or scared.
Personally, as a lot of you may already know, I have always struggled with anxiety and low mood. Over the last couple of years however, I have been able to manage my symptoms much more successfully. This has made it easier for me to support others through my coaching and Youtube channel and to also continue to work on my own personal development through more training. Yoga has become a big part of my life, as is walking my dog and trying to keep active. Deep breathing and mindfulness has also helped immensely but the one thing I still struggled with until recently, was getting myself to an immediate state of calm when in the grips of anxiety.
The worst of my anxiety is usually when I travel by plane or when I have to do something that puts me in the spotlight. I also get extremely anxious when I think about losing someone I am attached to. Just before Christmas, I decided to try something completely different and was gifted something that eases anxiety. Although I was rather skeptical at first, after reading so many good reviews about it, I decided to give it a go.
This device is called CalmiGO.
@mycalmigo
CalmiGO is scientifically proven and uses 3 methods to lower anxiety levels:
-Relaxing scent
-Multi-sensory stimulation or grounding
-Breathing regulation (exhalation prolongation)
These 3 methods combined, activate the parasympathetic nervous system and lower stress level hormones.
CalmiGO is drug free and safe to use and if you would like to find out more about it, then feel free to click on this link:
My experience with using CalmiGO so far has been absolutely brilliant.
After trying this device for 3 minutes as recommended, I immediately noticed a reduction in my anxiety levels.
The most important part of the device for me is that it encourages you to prolong your exhalation. This is scientifically proven to decrease those awful symptoms of anxiety such as dizziness, accelerated heart rate, nausea and chest pain. When we are anxious, we end up breathing much too fast which results in a decrease of PCO2 levels. CalmiGO reverses this with exhalation prolongation. Since prolonging my exhalation was always the trickiest part for me, CalmiGO has been incredibly helpful in getting me to do this successfully. It vibrates and lights up whenever you reach a long enough exhalation, so this helps immensely when you are doing this for 3 minutes or more. Take a look at the photos below for an idea of what CalmiGO looks like and how to use it.
When I ordered CalmiGO, it arrived wonderfully packaged and came with a very detailed guide on how to use it effectively. It came with a little rubber cover and also an easy to use pouch to carry it in. There was also a pack of AAA batteries, a small screwdriver and a pack of 2 scented element attachments. One of these scented element attachments is placed on the front of the device near the ‘on and off’ switch. My preferred choice was lavender but you can also choose peppermint or bergamot if you prefer.
Although there is a detailed guide on how to use it effectively, there is also a tutorial video which you can watch here:
Since I have found CalmiGO so incredibly useful in my personal life, I decided to collaborate with the founders of CalmiGO and I am offering a $30 discount on every purchase made through their website.
By adding the code COURAGE as a voucher when you add CalmiGO to your shopping cart, you get the above discount on the total price. Go to the link below to gets yours 🙂
CalmiGO really is an investment in a life with less anxiety.
For those of you who live with CPTSD or PTSD, CalmiGO will help ground you and if used every day for a month during a time where you are really struggling with panic and anxiety, you will see a huge decrease in your symptoms.
If you have any questions or would like to share your experience using CalmiGO, then please feel free to leave a comment below.
Over the last 9 months, I have been lucky enough to connect with Kayla on her brilliant journey of self-evolving. Kayla is a counsellor who very much enjoys supporting her clients in becoming the best version of themselves, as she also does for herself.
Kayla has created this brilliant brand which celebrates those of us who keep evolving and growing in our mental health journeys.
Kayla’s website is brilliant and deserves celebrating.
You can read about 3 self-evolvers’ journeys and also buy some brilliant clothing and accessories that are inspiring and mental health promoting.
You can also become an ambassador for the brand, if you think this is something you would enjoy.
After the success of my Assertiveness PDF Course, I have decided to release my first E-book/Guide ‘Dealing with CPTSD triggers in relationships’-A helpful guide for both partners.
E-book Cover
This is something I have been working on for awhile and especially because so many of you have reached out to me struggling with your partner’s triggers.
This ebook is available on Amazon Kindle and I am selling it for £5.06 but I am offering the first 15 of you the opportunity to buy it for only £2 by sending payment to my PayPal at athinalarios@yahoo.com.
If you are in need of support in your relationship, then order your discounted copy NOW!
Email me at courageisallyouneed@gmail.com confirming that you have made payment and you will receive your discounted copy!
If you support me on Patreon, you will get this e-book for free 🙂
I will be creating a video on my YouTube channel to promote this e-book but I would very much appreciate a reblog of this post, if you think this ebook would help anyone you know.
I want to help as many people as possible as this is something that I have personally struggled with in my relationship.
To buy the Kindle version on the UK Amazon click below!
Dealing with a pandemic of this magnitude, we are all understandably becoming anxious and uncertain about the future.
All the little things that consumed our life previously are no longer as important.
There is a new reality now.. One of survival, planning and isolating.
For those of you who are already living with C-PTSD, anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions, this time is especially triggering..
For those of you in the ‘at risk groups’, life can feel terrifying..
Here are a few tips that are keeping me sane and might help you too!
Try and hold onto the positives even though the reality is extremely daunting.
Whenever anxiety creeps in, take several deep breaths and be kind to yourself.
Keep a daily log of 3 things you are grateful for on each day.
We are dealing with an unprecedented reality, it is normal to feel overwhelmed.
Try and stop yourself from engaging too much with social media or news on the Coronavirus.
Distract yourself with things you enjoy. There is nothing wrong with binge watching Netflix series at this time or reading lots of books..
Even though you may be stuck at home, make sure you create a new stable routine for yourself and your family. Exercise, eat at the same time every day, do an activity together, have some alone time, have a shower at the same time each day etc. Since you have lost your normal routine, creating a new routine is extremely important.
Try and eat healthy food as much as possible..Limit alcohol and sugar. Keep your immune system as healthy as possible
Engage in your hobbies as much as possible
Write your thoughts and worries in a journal or online blog
Keep in touch with family and friends
How are you coping with this in your country?
I hope you are looking after yourselves at this difficult time dear readers.
Just a quick post to update you on what I am up to at the moment. I am currently studying my first Counselling module with the Open University alongside my work. I am very excited about this and hoping to complete a whole Diploma in Counselling or a full on Bachelors. I am studying separate modules at a time, which enables me to be more flexible in my choices.
I am still making youtube videos on my channel and also still taking on new clients for coaching.
I have a few new coaching options now, which include 30 min coaching sessions instead of hourly sessions. You can find these new options here: https://couragecoaching.net/availabilitycost/
My latest video is based on Dependent Personality disorder.
A lot of survivors of narcissistic abuse can sometimes develop this disorder or at least have a lot of the symptoms present.
Infantilization by parents and/or early loss or abandonment can cause Dependent Personality.
If you can relate, then please feel free to comment or share this video!
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.
Emotional intelligence is the one part of the human psyche that we can develop and improve by learning and practising new skills.
People with higher emotional intelligence find it easier to form and maintain interpersonal relationships and to ‘fit in’ to group situations.
People with higher emotional intelligence are also better at understanding their own psychological state, which can include managing stress effectively and being less likely to suffer from depression.
My newest video on my youtube channel, talks about emotional intelligence in more detail.
A lot of research has gone into this video which has a questionnaire about helping people identify whether they might be suffering with CPTSD. I set up a poll on my youtube page, asking my subscribers to choose a video topic out of 4 options and this video was the most popular choice.
As I myself have answered ‘Yes’ to around 34 out of the 40 questions on this questionnaire and have also been diagnosed with CPTSD from 3 different therapists, I know that this questionnaire is very accurate. I created it to help my clients feel validated and to provide a stepping stone in the right direction towards their healing journey.
It is highly important to stress that there are 2 different types of abuse that a child can suffer in their family home. Overt abuse and covert abuse. Most abuse survivors, who have experienced a combination of these 2 types of abuse, will answer ‘YES’ to all 40 questions and will have all CPTSD symptoms, as well as visual, physical and other sensory flashbacks, along with extreme dissociation. Those survivors who have only suffered from covert abuse, also score high on this questionnaire (as much as 38 out of 40). This proves the severity of both types of abuse and sadly many therapists don’t take covert abuse seriously, when they should.
I wholeheartedly hope you find it helpful and if you think others will find it useful and validating, then please share this post as much as possible, .
Also please feel free to add your answers in the comments below this post, or on my youtube channel! Please specify whether you experienced overt abuse or covert abuse or both.
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