childhood trauma

Empowered Living – ‘New shop’

Alongside the coaching, art therapy and support groups I am already offering, I would also like to share my brand new shop with you, called ‘Empowered Living’.

https://empowered-living-shop.fourthwall.com

When you are on a healing journey and are trying to feel more empowered after trauma or narcissistic abuse, it is important to have uplifting reminders in your environment that keep ‘hope’ alive, even when things feel really tough.

Every piece of apparel, accessory, and homeware in my shop is designed to honour your strength, your resilience, and your ongoing journey toward freedom and self-trust. These items aren’t just products — they’re gentle reminders of your courage, hope, and power to rebuild.

Some designs remind you to keep going no matter how hard things get and others remind you to have gratitude for the little things in your life that bring you joy- such as a pet, a friend or your love for art or music.

Many of the designs are powerful symbols of renewal, such as the phoenix rising or the lotus flower.

Others, such as the mandala symbolise wholeness & unity and in psychological terms symbolise the self.

Whatever stage you are at in your healing journey, I wish you strength, courage & hope to keep going, no matter how hard things can feel at times.

Maybe the products in my shop will encourage you to not give up and empower you to rebuild and find joy again.

There is nothing wrong with treating yourself to something meaningful or giving your friend something that will help them through a difficult time.

Thank for reading!

Grieving a parent who is still alive

When a parent is emotionally immature, abusive, or neglectful, it can be incredibly painful and confusing for the adult child. These patterns often make it difficult—sometimes even impossible—to maintain a healthy or meaningful relationship with that parent. The adult child may find themselves caught between loyalty and self-preservation, longing for love or validation while also needing to protect their emotional wellbeing.

Over time, repeated invalidation, manipulation, or emotional absence can erode trust, leaving the adult child to grieve the parent they never truly had—not because the parent is gone, but because the relationship cannot meet the basic needs of safety, respect, or mutual care.

Setting boundaries or choosing distance in these cases is not a sign of failure or selfishness—it’s often an act of deep inner strength, rooted in a desire to heal, grow, and break cycles of emotional harm.

If you relate to the above, then my newest video below might be just the right thing for you!

Love Athina

Relational trauma survivors-What is their biggest regret?

When you have grown up in a dysfunctional family home, with parents who weren’t able to meet you emotional needs and teach you healthy skills in relating to others, you will notice in adulthood that it takes you awhile to figure out how to heal.

In order to start healing you must first acknowledge that you actually had relational trauma. Some people unfortunately never become aware of this trauma and how it affects them and others find out very late in life.

The earlier you become aware, the better!

My new video talks about one of the biggest regrets I have heard my clients share with me about their healing journey.

Can you relate?

Watch the video to find out!

Love Athina

How do you tell a friend about your childhood trauma?

Talking about childhood trauma can feel overwhelming, especially when opening up to a friend for the first time. How do we explore sharing our story in a way that feels safe and empowering, while also setting boundaries and managing expectations? How do we prepare ourselves for possibly being let down and invalidated by the person we tell?

Talking about something so difficult will never come easy to us, because safety was compromised in our childhood. Sharing the full range of our emotions, wasn’t acceptable and we may have been punished or invalidated a lot. That is why this feels scary and trust doesn’t come easy to us.

The first step to consider, could be to assess our friendship so far with the person we want to tell. Test the waters, so to speak.

Do we feel safe in their presence and can we truly be ourselves with this person?

Does this person listen to us empathetically?

Will we feel relieved by telling a (safe) friend about our trauma?

What will we do if they don’t respond in a validating way? Have there been any instances in the past where they may have invalidated us?

These are all good questions we can ask ourselves.

A safe person or ‘friend’ is one that listens and validates our experience, by saying something like ‘I am sorry to hear you went through that’.

In the above video, I talk about this tricky topic in a little more detail, so please watch it or share it if you think it will help someone.

Love Athina

Do you self-silence?

Self-silencing is much more common that people think.

Feeling too afraid to express your true thoughts, desires, and emotions often stems from childhood experiences in environments where self-expression didn’t feel safe. This behavior is frequently shaped by generational patterns passed down unconsciously, where parents, influenced by their own upbringing and unresolved trauma, lacked the tools to create a space for open and secure communication.

If you recognize that you have a tendency to self-silence, it’s essential to take proactive steps toward building healthier habits and learning to express yourself more openly and authentically.

Watch my video below, to gain more clarity on self-silencing.

Love Athina

The grief of not having a healthy family

When we grow up with dysfunctional parents, we have no comparison to what is supposed to be healthy. We just know what we know and we take these experiences with us into adulthood. We are moulded by these experiences and we carry the trauma with us when we try to function in relationships with others.

There may have been instances when we were teenagers, where we spent time in our friends’ family homes and we caught a glimpse of what ‘healthy’ looked like. Maybe there was a level of calmness that we didn’t see in our own family. Maybe there was mutual respect, support and validation of our friends’ emotions. Maybe our friends’ parents asked us lots of questions and showed genuine interest in us when our own parents never did. Maybe we felt ‘safe’ in our friends’ family home. Maybe this helped us survive our own childhood or maybe we genuinely never had this experience and were completely alone in our suffering.

Whatever your experience, know that you are not alone anymore. There are so many resources online to help you put the pieces of the puzzle together and help you understand why you may struggle so much in your current relationships. It is not your fault you are struggling and repeating the same dysfunctional patterns of behaviour you witnessed growing up.

Change can only happen when you commit to figuring out what needs to shift and what steps you need to take to heal and recover from your dysfunctional upbringing.

The video below, may help with this journey!

Much love, Athina

Cognitive Bypassing & trauma

Cognitive Bypassing is the practice of avoiding feelings by detouring into cognitive ideas or beliefs. It means that we tend to overthink in order to avoid uncomfortable emotions such as grief, fear or anger.

There is nothing wrong with using cognitive strategies as part of your emotional well-being. However, when every negative emotion must be analysed, changed or explained cognitively, this is counterproductive. Compulsively adding cognition to emotion means that you don’t ever allow your traumas to fully heal. The uncomfortable truth is that there is a component of painful emotions that simply must be felt, as hard as that may be to hear.

Healing trauma has more to do with embracing the feeling in the body than holding on to the thoughts of the mind. Somatic healing is crucial in recovery from trauma when you live with CPTSD. Allowing yourself to grieve the losses of your childhood is also a huge part of the healing process. Throwing CBT techniques at clients who suffer with trauma just isn’t enough!

Different therapies that enable us to somatically process trauma are very important in healing childhood trauma. Art therapy, dance therapy, drama therapy, play therapy as well as somatic healing, EMDR, sensorimotor therapy and accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy are all very important.

Most of us who have experienced trauma, find ways to constantly avoid our emotions by overthinking but also by comfort eating, doing drugs or drinking alcohol, being compulsive, dissociating and so much more.

How many of us actually just sit with our uncomfortable emotions and allow ourselves to self soothe, allow ourselves to have a good cry and share what we are actually feeling? Do we actually allow ourselves to feel our sadness or fear and just give it the space to be present without analysing it? This isn’t easy for many of us. As much as it isn’t easy, we have to find ways to make room for it and really feel whatever comes up.

Why you mustn’t apologise to a narcissist

In narcissistic relationships, the narcissist is an expert at shifting the blame onto others. For this reason alone, you shouldn’t apologise to a narcissist.

In most cases, you are usually not at fault. They’ve been shifting the blame onto you, and they want to make you believe that YOU are doing what THEY’RE doing.

By apologising to them for something you DIDN’T DO, you’re giving into their delusion, and giving them more power to falsely accuse you.

Watch the video to find out more.

Love Athina

The spotlight effect – A result of narcissistic parenting

If you hate being the center of attention and constantly worry about what people are saying about you, then you may have what is known as the spotlight effect, a term coined by social psychologists.

The spotlight effect is a cognitive bias and it refers to the tendency to overestimate how much other people notice about us.

If you have social anxiety, then you most likely also struggle with the spotlight effect.

The spotlight effect can be detrimental to living your life fully, as it holds you back from allowing yourself to be ‘seen’ by others.

Watch the video to find out more and please feel free to share your experiences in the comments.

For one to one coaching, please feel free to email me at: courageisallyouneed@gmail.com

Love Athina

Self Sabotage-A result of childhood narcissistic abuse

Self-sabotage isn’t something we are necessarily aware of yet it can create havoc in our lives and it can stop us from reaching our full potential.

When we have grown up in an environment where there was constant chaos and drama and where our parents shamed us and criticised the majority of the time, it will feel more familiar to us to continue this dynamic in adulthood. We may lead equally chaotic lives with dysfunctional relationships and poor choices.

If we were constantly given the message that we weren’t smart enough, strong enough, attractive enough and in more general terms good enough, then this becomes our internalised voice and it pops up every time we try and take a step forward in our careers, relationships and day to day life.

Even if this internalised voice is negative and not true, it has been our mind’s companion for as far back as we remember. We took on this identity and it is harder to change it when it is all we have known.

If you can relate to this topic, then please watch the video to find out more.

I offer one to one coaching to those of you who struggle with this, so please feel free to get in touch by emailing me at: courageisallyouneed@gmail.com

Love Athina