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How does codependency start?

Hello to all of you 🙂

I hope you are all well or at least trying to be.

Thank you to those of you who have recently followed my blog and youtube channel.I am very grateful. Tomorrow I have the morning off my German class so will be catching up as much as possible on all your posts and comments.Despite my busy schedule at the moment, I have still been managing to upload videos to Youtube every week and luckily the topics I talk about are still helping a few of you.

The Q & A videos have been a success and I still have quite a few unanswered emails to sort through, so please bear with me.

The Christmas break (although most definetely not my favourite time of year) will give me the opportunity to do more videos in response to your questions.

Today’s YouTube video focuses on the cycle of codependence and how is starts & worsens over time.

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Codependency is very real and is a result of living in a home with an alcoholic parent, an abusive parent or a parent with a mental illness. Codependency develops when you put your own needs & feelings aside as a child, to care for & comfort a sick parent. Not everyone agrees with this point of view, however I have been through it and know the challenges associated with it.

Reaching out to all of those who struggle with their mental health means the world to me, especially to those who have suffered trauma and live with the result of this trauma.

I know how it feels to be invalidated.

I know how it feels to be called too sensitive or to just get over it.

Stigma towards mental illness is very much alive.

By sharing your experiences and spreading awareness in any way possible, this helps others understand better what it might be like for those who struggle.

If you can relate to this video, or think it will help someone you care about, then please share it with love ♥

Hugs Athina ♥

How to survive over-thinking

Over-thinking an issue or event is a very common coping mechanism for dealing with stress. When there are unresolved issues or stressful situations with more than one possible solution, this is usually what leads to never-ending ruminating.

Unfortunately, over-thinking is usually linked to depression & anxiety. People that already suffer from a mental illness, are usually big over-thinkers. However, someone can also become mentally ill by starting to think destructively. All it takes is one single stressful life event to trigger unhelpful ruminating.

The best way to cope with your possible over-thinking, is to look at the way you think and to analyse the different thinking errors (otherwise known as cognitive distortions) you may be indulging in.

If you don’t know much about the different types of cognitive distortions, then click below:

Cognitive distortions

Secondly, it is important to challenge any unhelpful thinking patterns by looking honestly at the evidence that supports those thoughts. Sometimes over-thinking can really spiral out of control and what may have started off as a minor problem, might have escalated into a catastrophe. Thinking isn’t always based on actual facts.

Thirdly, it is important to replace any unhelpful or overly dramatic thoughts with more grounded and sensible thoughts. If you are overly critical of yourself or others, then maybe try to tone it down a little. If you are worried that something bad is going to happen, then ask yourself ‘What are the chances of this really happening’? and ‘Is this really as bad as I think?Give yourself more constructive, positive thoughts and even write them down on paper if it helps!

Lastly, try and distract yourself when you are lost in endless over-thinking. Do something you enjoy, which will stop your mind from going into an uncomfortable state of hyperarousal.

Love Athina ♥

How PTSD affects intimate relationships

PTSD doesn’t only affect the person suffering with it.

I hope this video helps those of you who are close to someone who suffers with PTSD.

PTSD can affect partners as well as close family members, or flatmates.

There is the possibity of secondary traumatisation.

Love Athina ♥

Venture beyond the familiar

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Growth happens when we leave our comfort zone.

It is important to take baby steps outside our familiar surroundings, routines & hobbies in order to experience a new part of ourselves in the newness of the unknown.

The unknown can sometimes surprise us, so if you can be brave enough to take a chance on something new, then do it.

Love Athina ♥

Why Women Don’t Report Sexual Abuse When We ‘Should’ Have

Re-blogging this from an amazing lady! It is important to understand the complexity of this!

Trauma on Tour

As a Brit watching the media coverage of the US presidential debate, I’ve found myself quite shocked at the allegations and accusations. But nothing has surprised me more than the lack of compassion towards the women who have come forward to report claims of sexual abuse from Donald Trump. The most outrageous thing I’ve witnessed over and over again is the questions fired towards these women demanding why they didn’t report the abuse sooner, or why they didn’t report it to the police.

From someone who has been assaulted in a violent attempted rape, I know firsthand why victims don’t report the abuse when they should or could have and I’d like to give those who haven’t been in such a situation some insider information.

When you’re emotionally charged, you don’t act rationally

It’s so simple for someone on the outside of the situation to tell someone what they should’ve done, during or…

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TRUMP WINS: UNIMPRESSED

I am reblogging this post by fellow blogger Everydaylife, as it encapsulates exactly what I and so many others are feeling after the results of the US elections.
I was already disheartened by the Brexit vote this year. With my half Scottish/half Greek background and with friends & family from all backgrounds, ethnicities and sexuality, this is truly sickening. Trump being President feels like a nightmare! How can people vote for such a Malignant narcissist?

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I am making this post not as a nationalist, feminist or secularist but in generally as a HUMAN.

I am a 21-year-old young woman who has been educated all her life that respect is the most vital part of life, that without honest hard work or integrity nothing of worth can be truly achieved. I have also been taught that looking down upon people: women and the disabled ones especially (and men too) will not earn me anything except contempt from other people because it is downright cruel and unacceptable. I did not question any of these things that were taught to me, I accepted and imbibed them into my system because not just because they were popular beliefs or so but, because I resonated with them as well- respect, not looking down upon people and the likes of it.

Similarly, growing up, everyone gets educated about these fundamental qualities…

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How to deal with negative emotions

Happy Monday dear followers & friends,

I have been busy making & editing youtube videos for the last few days, as towards the end of the month I will be very busy studying. I am trying to do videos on topics that people have emailed me about and today’s video is based on a question from a YouTube Subscriber.

Dealing with negative emotions is something everyone can relate to and is something that nobody wants to face in this life. Unfortunately, every single one of us has constant experience with negative or uncomfortable emotions.

I have already written a blog post about the main point I make in the video below: https://couragecoaching.wordpress.com/2016/08/04/the-importance-of-feeling-our-feelings/

In the video I talk about the importance of dealing with negative emotions in the healthiest way.

This healthiest way, is something that has already helped many people who have had coaching and psychotherapy and I am offering it in this video for free.

I really hope it is helpful and makes sense. If you think it might help others, please re-blog or share it on social media.

Love Athina ♥

The Power with Gratitude and Appreciation — BayArt

What Is Gratitude? Gratitude, thankfulness, gratefulness, or appreciation is a feeling or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive. Robert Emmons, perhaps the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude, argues that gratitude has two key components. Firstly, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things…

via The Power with Gratitude and Appreciation — BayArt

Beauty is in the human spirit..

What do you define as beauty?

Beauty for me is a lot of things.

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Photography and art is beautiful.

The gorgeous colours of nature all around us is beautiful.

A message of love and comfort is beautiful.

The generosity & kindness in people’s eyes is beautiful.

The strength & courage of the human spirit is beautiful.

The ability to self-reflect & heal is beautiful.

The incredible firefighters, policemen, doctors, nurses, first responders, teachers, loving parents, foster carers, careworkers, psychologists, survivors and humanitarians that make a huge difference in this world are beautiful (and so many more I haven’t listed..).

Beauty for me is in the human spirit that perseveres against all odds.

Beauty for me is in the resilience of the poorest people, the people who suffer the most but are able to still offer love, compassion & understanding.

Beauty for me is in the highly sensitive person, the empath, the artist & the volunteer.

Beauty is all around us and it is found in the simplest things in life..

Beauty is about stopping to smell the roses..it is about living in the moment and appreciating all that you have in life..it is about loving yourself enough to accept yourself completely and treating others with respect & love..

What is beautiful to you?

Love Athina ♥