Author: Courage Coaching

I provide empowerment, empathy & support. I specialise in dealing with dysfunctional relationships, particularly narcissistic abuse & encouraging self-compassion.

#Go Fix | Opening Our Mouths about Suicide Prevention Awareness

Beautiful post by ‘Recovery to Wellness’ for Imany’s # GO FIX Spreading suicide awareness revolution! You ladies rock!

RaqoverytoWellness's avatarRaqoverytoWellness

Sharing our stories is a powerful force of awakening. By sharing our stories we share with others how we, too, have felt alone, have felt vulnerable and have felt low. And by sharing our stories, we make it okay for other people to share theirs, to open their own mouths and to talk about the hard stuff rather than the fake pleasantries. By sharing our stories we unite with one another, feeling stronger and connected, able to love and be loved even more effectively. By sharing our stories we open ourselves up to other people’s kind blessings, their gratitude and their inspiration. We create a cycle, a wavelength, of love. And that love is necessary, no, sufficient, for preventing yet another loss of life from  suicide on this rock floating in space that we call Earth (or Midgard, for Thor fans ;)).

That’s the core for this new hashtag, #Go…

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Codependents & Narcissists in a relationship. Why are they so attracted to each other?

Happy Monday to all of you! It’s the 1st of August today and time seems to have flown by so quickly!

Today’s post is about another topic very close to my heart, due to my own healing journey from codependency to healthy love. It most definetely wasn’t easy to get to where I am. It required perseverance, determination and a little bit of hope.

To heal from dysfunctional relationships & codependency, there are 5 steps that are important to take.Having a therapist who specialises in healing from codepedency, is important in guiding you.

  • The first step is becoming AWARE that your choices or actions are dysfunctional.
  • The second step to changing dysfunction is understanding the source of the dysfunction, so where did it come from?
  • The 3rd step is grieving the loss of a healthy childhood. An abusive childhood usually leads to poor choices in relationships & life in general. Without a stable & nurturing childhood you never learn healthy love, healthy boundaries & your emotional regulation is damaged.
  • The 4th step is understanding the complexity of changing self-defeating behaviours & changing certain defense mechanisms, that protected you in your childhood but no longer serve you in adulthood. It takes time, patience and self-compassion.
  • The 5th step is actually trying out new relationships when you have made progress in your healing. You have to make a few more mistakes and discuss these with a therapist by your side, so you can see where you went wrong and how to improve this next time.

When I first found out I was codependent back in 2008, it was like the blindfold was taken off my eyes for the first time. Before learning this, I had a suspicion that something wasn’t right in my relationships but I had no idea how to change this.

I felt like I was in an emotional maze and had no idea which way to go. Everytime I thought I was making better choices in regards to who I was in a relationship with, the more unbearable the heartbreak became.I desperately wanted to be loved but wasn’t able to figure out this painful puzzle! At some point I was so exhausted from the traumatic end of each relationship & the subsequent self abandonment, that I decided to move countries! I wanted a new start…I hoped that I might meet my future husband if I moved away but I never in a million years thought I actually would..Sometimes you need a little bit of luck too!

When I moved back home to Greece after 11 years of living in the UK, I was met with more drama, a flare up of my CPTSD and a father who abandoned me over and over again. I was back in therapy again with a new therapist and was finally diagnosed with CPTSD. I was told both my parents were ’emotionally handicapped’ but that therapist never told me my parents were narcissistic. Maybe she decided at the time that it wasn’t relevant to me.

Despite this she looked after me very well. Each step I took into uncertainty, she held my hand.

I was also entered into a group psychotherapy group and it was extremely beneficial. I was in a group with 5 other people that also had similar backgrounds and it was very healing.

Support is crucial in healing. Without all this I would never have made progress.

The video above is a simple explanation (I hope) of the general dynamics of a codependent & narcissist in a relationship. Maybe you will see yourself in this and get curious. If you do, then please connect with me and I would be happy to have a chat with you.

Please feel free to re-blog this post so it reaches more people! Thank you 🙂

Much Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

 

5 tips to better deal with rejection

Rejection hurts, no matter what the context.

So how do you deal with it in a more constructive way?

Here are 5 tips that might be helpful:

  1. If you never get rejected, it means that you aren’t pushing past your comfort zone enough. Being rejected means that you are putting yourself out there and that takes guts. Rejection acts as proof that you are pushing your limits.
  2. When being rejected, it is much better to acknowledge and accept the emotions that come with the rejection rather than supress or ignore the emotions. It is better to feel the disappointment, sadness or frustration than try to run from it or make excuses to avoid the emotions.
  3. Self-compassion is very important whenever we are having a hard time. To better deal with the rejection, make sure you are paying attention to the way you are talking to yourself. If you get rejected after a job interview and think ‘I will never get a job, I’m just not good enough’ then that doesn’t make you feel better does it? Instead re-frame your thinking to something more positive, such as ‘ That’s a shame, but I have plenty more chances and I am sure I can do better’.
  4. Learning from rejection and asking yourself ‘What can I learn from this’?, is very useful for growth and for doing better next time.
  5. Self-approval is the most important thing when being rejected. If you are comfortable and happy with yourself as a person, then somebody else’s rejection won’t sting as much, because at the end of the day you have yourself to turn to when things feel disappointing.

 

Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

Gratitude

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Today I am grateful for my healthy body, my loving husband and the organic homemade food that I made for my little family.

I am grateful for the stability in my daily life, the ability to write my blogs & create YouTube videos and the love I share with my friends and family.

No matter how awful your circumstances, there are always things to be grateful for ♥

What are you grateful for?

Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

 

Speak your truth..

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Speak your truth, be yourself and if people don’t accept you then it is their loss, not yours!

If people don’t value your reality, your kindness, your honesty then they don’t deserve your time or your love.

When speaking your truth, have you ever felt overwhelmed with emotion? What has the emotion been? Anger, frustration, sadness, loss, disappointment?

The worst of all these for me was always frustration and then deep sadness..

When talking to a narcissistic parent, you feel all of these times 10!

Continuing to speak your truth despite the pain, frustration, loss and anger is very important…Don’t ever let anyone keep you silent..

Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

New YouTube videos-Love addiction

This is the 2nd blog entry I am doing on love addiction, as I know how much of a struggle it is for many of you. I created 2 Youtube videos that cover the most important areas.

Pleae note that there are 2 types of 12 step programmes for love addiction.

One is called Love Addicts Anonymous (LAA) and the other is called ‘Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous’ (SLAA).

I hope you find these useful!

Love Athina ♥

 

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

Are you a chronic over-explainer?

Where does over-explaining stem from?

People naturally feel the need to make sure their point of view is clearly understood when in conversation with someone else. Nobody wants to be misunderstood when expressing an opinion or thought.

What happens however when someone feels the need to always over-explain something?

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Is this something that stems from an underlying anxiety, that they will be misunderstood?

Yes

Is this also something that happens because in the past they might have been misunderstood quite a lot and for this reason they have to make sure it doesn’t happen again?

Absolutely..

Does over-explaining ever make you think, that the person doing the over-explaining, must think that the person they are over-explaining to must be stupid. Does this make sense?

I have been on both sides of this. I have over-explained to someone who got what I was saying from the first sentence and said I didn’t need to explain further. They said, I am not stupid, I get it. I have also been over-explained to and could immediately tell that the other person was anxious and insecure about something.

In my experience, many individuals who suffer from low self-esteem or people-pleasing, have an almost compulsive need to over-explain. This usually stems from childhood abuse, where either 1 or both parents were unable to meet the child’s needs and were unable to understand the child’s feelings. If parents don’t have empathy, are self-centered and dont have the ability to genuinely listen and understand, then a child will chronically feel frustrated, misunderstood and alone.

Have you ever tried to explain a simple concept such as sadness or feeling alone to a person who lacks empathy?

The reply is usually uncaring and hurtful.

Have you ever tried to reason with someone who has a low IQ and has intellectual disabilities?

They are not able to understand certain simple concepts because they just aren’t able to and if you insist on trying to make them understand, you can make yourself feel crazy with frustration.

When does over-explaining become chronic?

This usually happens when someone is unable to simply state something, that doesn’t need explaining, to someone who hasn’t even asked for an explanation. It becomes chronic when a person feels the need to explain in great detail and repeats themselves over and over again.It becomes chronic when it is a habitual thing that someone does all the time, even with people that are understanding and empathetic.

The particular thing I would like to highlight in this post, is that over-explaining becomes habitual for people who have suffered narcissistic abuse. If you are constantly around someone who makes you doubt yourself by gaslighting you, who doesn’t validate and understand your feelings and always tries to manipulate you, then it is only natural that you will be chronically frustrated when communicating..

I would love to hear your thoughts on this..

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

Much Love Athina ♥

Blogger recognition award-I am humbled!

 

This blog post today is to officially accept my nomination for the ‘Blogger recognition award‘ by the lovely https://perceptionschange.wordpress.com

I am very humbled by the nomination, especially as this blogger is a mental health blogger. She writes about her own experience with depression & anxiety, offers tips on what helped her and this is very useful for others who also struggle and might find some solace in her writings.

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Rules for participating in the Blogger Recognition Award

Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Write a post to show your award.

Attach the award to the post.

Give a brief story on how your blog started.

Give a piece of advice or two to new bloggers.

Select 15 other blogs you want to give the award to.

Comment on each blog and let them know you nominated them

TIPS FOR NEW BLOGGERS

If you have the time to interact with your followers, then do so.

If you are able to keep an open mind and be encouraging and positive, then do so.

Make sure you write an  ABOUT ME section on your blog, as it gives the reader a little background on who you are and why you write. I find this very important when checking out new blogs as I feel better connected to the content when I know a little about the writer.

WHAT IS THIS BLOG ABOUT & WHY DID I START IT

This blog is all about sharing free information to help those of you affected by mental illness, abuse from dysfunctional relationships and for those of you who are also interested in personal coaching. This blog is a result of my recent qualification as a life coach and I would be humbled to reach many more people that might need coaching to make changes in their lives. My particular focus is promoting self-care, self-compassion, changing negative thinking patterns & assisting anyone who is struggling with dysfunctional relationships and needs to break free. I create videos on YouTube which are also aimed at providing free advice on many different topics and I hope to help people in the same way I was helped over the years by mental health professionals & other empathetic people

NOMINATIONS

The 15 bloggers I will nominate are inspiring & courageous! Check them out!

https://runrabbitrunptsd.wordpress.com/

www.therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com

https://recoverytowellness.wordpress.com/

https://bethanykays.com/

https://atribeuntangled.com/

https://brokenfingernails.com/

https://piecesofbipolar.wordpress.com/

https://frombehindglass.wordpress.com/

https://hannahbolly.wordpress.com/

https://theroamingmind.com/

https://emergingfromthedarknight.wordpress.com/

https://thejourneytowardhealing.wordpress.com/

https://charsgirl.wordpress.com/

https://brokenyetcherished.com/

https://illyspeaks.wordpress.com/

Courage

Today’s post will be short and sweet as unfortunately my internet is playing up and keeps having long disconnection periods. I have barely been able to post anything today due to this, so my apologies if this blog post is a little short. I think short and sweet, will be the theme of this day! 🙂

I wanted to write a little bit about why I chose Courage as the name of my Coaching business.

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First of all, courage is very important when challenging ourselves at times where we need to make big changes in our personal life, our work or our health.

Courage is necessary when we deal with grief, physical & emotional pain or overwhelming fear.

As survivors of abuse would agree, courage is crucial for getting through the trauma and emotional pain that starts with the abuse, continues throughout the abuse and then unfortunately becomes a part of the long journey of recovery after the abuse.

For those affected by war & overwhelming grief, courage is what keeps them going every day, when all they want is to stop feeling so frightened & devastated.

Courage is important for survival, for better quality of life, for the ability to self-reflect and for getting through adversity.

Below are some definitions that I found online when I was deciding on COURAGE as a name for my business.

Courage is:

  • The ability to do something that frightens one; bravery.
  • Strength in the face of pain or grief
  • The choice and willingness to confront agony, pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation.
  • The power or quality of dealing with or facing danger, fear, pain, etc..
  • Courage, also called fortitude, is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation. It can be divided into “physical courage” — in face of physical pain, hardship, and threat of death — and “moral courage” — in the face of shame, scandal, and discouragement..
  • The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery.

 I also selected a few of the most inspiring quotes about courage, in my opinion.

”You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along”.
Eleanor Roosevelt
”I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear”.
Nelson Mandela
”Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy”.
Dale Carnegie
”You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor”.
Aristotle
 What is it about courage that inspires you the most?
Love Athina ♥
© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.