Child abuse – Page 5

Narcissistic abuse-Trauma bonding with a parent

giphygf

As many of you already know, my journey to qualifying as a Life Coach, was based on my own recovery from my narcissistically abusive parents.

For those of you who don’t follow my more personal blog, I wanted to just give you a little insight into my own struggles.

In the last few days, I have been struggling with contact again from my father, after 1 year and a half of not speaking.

I sent him a letter, so he could stop harrassing me by phone.

I never exclusively told him I wanted no contact, but after a very traumatic time following his attempted suicide, (as a way of stopping his wife from leaving him) he gave me the silent treatment for a year, so I just went along with it.

I was not willing to respond to him and was already in a grieving process, even though there was no closure of any sort.

When he finally decided to start hoovering me back in with his phonecalls and sudden caring, I continued to ignore his calls. This communication from him went on for 8 months. I finally got fed up with the constant calls that I decided to send him a letter to end our relationship. I briefly explained my reasons and gave him the chance to reply.

I received his reply and it hit me really hard! More than I expected it to.

I realised that I still had a tiny glimmer of hope that he might change his behaviour and this was a huge setback for me. I also realised how incredibly strong the trauma bonding is between us, even more so than with my mother.

As a means of coping with my recent distress and the final letter to him, which I am in the process of writing at the moment, I created the below video!

It outlines what I have been going through and what many other survivors of abuse face all the time.

Please feel free to share it, if you think it may help others.

Just visit my Youtube page and embed it into your page.

Thanks for reading

Love Athina ♥

Sexual abuse Youtube Video-Part 2

Hello dear followers,

I have just completed the 2nd part of my sexual abuse video series.I know this topic isn’t relevant to a lot of you but for those it is relevant to, I hope it helps.If you have only just started coming to terms with any past sexual abuse, then this video series will be useful.

As I did at the end of the first video, which you can find here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKlfQMVeyBA , in this 2nd video I list a more comprehensive set of questions that you can ask yourself. The more of these you can relate to, the more support you will need in your recovery of sexual abuse.

Much love to you

Athina ♥♥

How sexual abuse affects survivors in intimate relationships-YouTube Video-Part 1

Sexual abuse of any kind, whether that is long term childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault, has a profound effect on whoever experiences it.

gay-couple-1294120_1920

Since starting my first blog nearly 2 years ago, I have come across so many sexual abuse survivors, who have brought me to tears with their resilience and courageousness. I have met both men and women who have been through hell and back and have suffered far worse experiences than I ever did. This video was created with them in mind and for one of them in particular who asked me to do a video on this important topic.

I have learnt so much more about myself through doing research on this heartbreaking topic. I have also learnt how insidious sexual abuse can be and how many layers of trauma a survivor has to work through before reaching a more comfortable state of being.This video will be PART 1 of a 2 video series.It is such a sensitive topic and I want to make sure I cover as much as possible for those who may be affected by a past experience and may not even realise it yet. I am currently working through a list of questions that survivors can ask themselves, so they can have a better idea of where their difficulties lie in relation to sexual intimacy. At the end of this first video I have included some of these questions. How many of these did you answer ‘Yes’ to? I really hope that your answer is ‘None’.

Love Athina ♥

When to emotionally detach from a toxic relationship or situation

Hi everyone,

This is my 2nd attempt to write this blog post, after the last one was unfortunately lost. 😦

I hope you all had a good Christmas weekend and managed to relax and enjoy time with your loved ones. For those of you who find Christmas tough due to past trauma or dysfunctional relationships, you have just survived yet another Christmas, so give yourself a pat on the back and treat yourself to something you enjoy. The New Year is nearly here and with it comes new hope and a renewed sense of direction. 🙂

The following youtube video is 1 day late, due to the fact that I allowed myself a little time to relax over the last 3 days. I caught up on some much needed sleep and I started studying for my German exam (which is fast approaching).

In my own recovery back in 2008, I was introduced to the concept of letting go of relationships that no longer served me. I was introduced to the concept of emotionally detaching from a toxic person. Although at first this was extremely hard to do, with practice and with time, I slowly started making changes for the better. I started learning to put my self-care first and to set boundaries. I started noticing the repetitive patterns that were present in my relationships and I started questioning the reasons as to why I couldn’t choose healthier relationships. In my case, the narcissistically abusive background I come from, is what influenced my choice of abusive or unavailable partners, friends & even colleagues.

This video is for those of you who are just starting out in your recovery from dysfunctional relationships, so I really hope it helps ♥

200

Love Athina ♥

How to detect whether you or someone you care about is in an abusive relationship.

woman-1006100_960_720

When a relationship starts off with subtle signs of possessiveness or teasing that undermines the partner, this may then escalate to full blown domestic violence.

When one partner is trying to control the other partner in ways that are sometimes confusing and feel uncomfortable, then this may then escalate to complete and utter isolation from family and friends.

Sometimes the signs in abusive relationships are so subtle, that it is difficult to tell if someone is going to end up being abusive or not. Abuse can only be emotional and mental in some relationships. It doesn’t necessarily have to be physical and sexual. In other cases, it can be a combination of mental, physical, sexual & financial abuse.

The video I did today is important for those of you who know someone you suspect may be in an abusive relationship.If you suspect that it is actually your partner that is abusive, then please get in touch and I can put you in contact with the appropriate charities and organisations that can help you.

Love Athina ♥

How does codependency start?

Hello to all of you 🙂

I hope you are all well or at least trying to be.

Thank you to those of you who have recently followed my blog and youtube channel.I am very grateful. Tomorrow I have the morning off my German class so will be catching up as much as possible on all your posts and comments.Despite my busy schedule at the moment, I have still been managing to upload videos to Youtube every week and luckily the topics I talk about are still helping a few of you.

The Q & A videos have been a success and I still have quite a few unanswered emails to sort through, so please bear with me.

The Christmas break (although most definetely not my favourite time of year) will give me the opportunity to do more videos in response to your questions.

Today’s YouTube video focuses on the cycle of codependence and how is starts & worsens over time.

tumblr_mrdkpzygce1s43hlxo1_500

Codependency is very real and is a result of living in a home with an alcoholic parent, an abusive parent or a parent with a mental illness. Codependency develops when you put your own needs & feelings aside as a child, to care for & comfort a sick parent. Not everyone agrees with this point of view, however I have been through it and know the challenges associated with it.

Reaching out to all of those who struggle with their mental health means the world to me, especially to those who have suffered trauma and live with the result of this trauma.

I know how it feels to be invalidated.

I know how it feels to be called too sensitive or to just get over it.

Stigma towards mental illness is very much alive.

By sharing your experiences and spreading awareness in any way possible, this helps others understand better what it might be like for those who struggle.

If you can relate to this video, or think it will help someone you care about, then please share it with love ♥

Hugs Athina ♥

Video on PTSD related Insomnia

This is my 2nd video from my Q & A video series. My followers, viewers & subscribers ask the questions and I answer to the best of my knowledge with a video.

I really hope that this video is useful to those of you who suffer from insomnia in general and I hope it also provides a little more insight for those of you who have specific PTSD related Insomnia.

PTSD related insomnia is a very tough symptom to tackle and is usually managed with a combination of anti-depressants, the short term use of sedatives and talking therapy( all under the watchful eye of a psychotherapist or psychiatrist).

Love Athina ♥

New video- Rules children follow in a dysfunctional (narcissistic) home

Just a quick post with my newest video.

I hope it helps those of you who need validation.

Love Athina ♥

Our child within

fontcandy-11

Love Athina ♥

2nd Video on emotional flashbacks

Hello fellow bloggers & friends,

I hope you had a good weekend and have started your week with hope in your heart. I have been unusually busy over the last week, as hubby has been on holiday from work. My mornings have been completely transformed from work & ‘me’ time, to long breakfasts and lots of ‘us’ time. We just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary on Saturday and took a mini break away in the wonderful town of Braunschweig. An escape from the usual routine we are well accustomed to, is so incredibly refreshing and enriching.

Although hubby is still on holiday this week as well, I want to make sure I keep up my blogging and Youtube Videos, even if at a lesser frequency.

I have finally managed to set up my new webcam and got the sound on the microphone to the level it should be at. I can safely say that the quality of my Youtube videos will finally be at an acceptable level.Hoorah 🙂

Although I started off my video today thinking it would only be a very short trial one (to test out my new webcam), it ended up being a long one!

The video is about emotional flashbacks once again and how to manage them.

The video below is the 2nd one I have posted on this topic, as I have received a few more requests to talk more about this difficult area of CPTSD.

Love Athina ♥

Ps: I finally received my full & approved ‘Certificate in Coaching’ today after completing the written assignment and waiting a long 12 weeks for the course tutors to correct it.

Unfortunately, they forgot to add my married name in brackets as I had originally requested but despite this, I am very very pleased 🙂