I have just completed the 2nd part of my sexual abuse video series.I know this topic isn’t relevant to a lot of you but for those it is relevant to, I hope it helps.If you have only just started coming to terms with any past sexual abuse, then this video series will be useful.
As I did at the end of the first video, which you can find here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKlfQMVeyBA , in this 2nd video I list a more comprehensive set of questions that you can ask yourself. The more of these you can relate to, the more support you will need in your recovery of sexual abuse.
Thank you to those of you who have recently followed my blog and youtube channel.I am very grateful. Tomorrow I have the morning off my German class so will be catching up as much as possible on all your posts and comments.Despite my busy schedule at the moment, I have still been managing to upload videos to Youtube every week and luckily the topics I talk about are still helping a few of you.
The Q & A videos have been a success and I still have quite a few unanswered emails to sort through, so please bear with me.
The Christmas break (although most definetely not my favourite time of year) will give me the opportunity to do more videos in response to your questions.
Today’s YouTube video focuses on the cycle of codependence and how is starts & worsens over time.
Codependency is very real and is a result of living in a home with an alcoholic parent, an abusive parent or a parent with a mental illness. Codependency develops when you put your own needs & feelings aside as a child, to care for & comfort a sick parent. Not everyone agrees with this point of view, however I have been through it and know the challenges associated with it.
Reaching out to all of those who struggle with their mental health means the world to me, especially to those who have suffered trauma and live with the result of this trauma.
I know how it feels to be invalidated.
I know how it feels to be called too sensitive or to just get over it.
Stigma towards mental illness is very much alive.
By sharing your experiences and spreading awareness in any way possible, this helps others understand better what it might be like for those who struggle.
If you can relate to this video, or think it will help someone you care about, then please share it with love ♥
This post today is only a quick one. I thought I would share this week’s Youtube video which will also be shared on my Child Within blog, so it reaches more people. It is a Q & A video on narcissism and in this case, one of my viewers wanted to know whether narcissists are paranoid.
This is something I have had first hand experience with and I know how detrimental it can be to those that surround the narcissist. My father’s paranoia was incredibly magnetic and my husband and I, as well as his friends and colleagues, all got sucked into his overly paranoid outlook just before and after his suicide attempt.
If you have had to deal with narcissistic family or partners who were overly paranoid, please feel free to share your experience.
Over-thinking an issue or event is a very common coping mechanism for dealing with stress. When there are unresolved issues or stressful situations with more than one possible solution, this is usually what leads to never-ending ruminating.
Unfortunately, over-thinking is usually linked to depression & anxiety. People that already suffer from a mental illness, are usually big over-thinkers. However, someone can also become mentally ill by starting to think destructively. All it takes is one single stressful life event to trigger unhelpful ruminating.
The best way to cope with your possible over-thinking, is to look at the way you think and to analyse the different thinking errors (otherwise known as cognitive distortions) you may be indulging in.
If you don’t know much about the different types of cognitive distortions, then click below:
Secondly, it is important to challenge any unhelpful thinking patterns by looking honestly at the evidence that supports those thoughts. Sometimes over-thinking can really spiral out of control and what may have started off as a minor problem, might have escalated into a catastrophe. Thinking isn’t always based on actual facts.
Thirdly, it is important to replace any unhelpful or overly dramatic thoughts with more grounded and sensible thoughts. If you are overly critical of yourself or others, then maybe try to tone it down a little. If you are worried that something bad is going to happen, then ask yourself ‘What are the chances of this really happening’? and ‘Is this really as bad as I think?Give yourself more constructive, positive thoughts and even write them down on paper if it helps!
Lastly, try and distract yourself when you are lost in endless over-thinking. Do something you enjoy, which will stop your mind from going into an uncomfortable state of hyperarousal.
This is my 2nd video from my Q & A video series. My followers, viewers & subscribers ask the questions and I answer to the best of my knowledge with a video.
I really hope that this video is useful to those of you who suffer from insomnia in general and I hope it also provides a little more insight for those of you who have specific PTSD related Insomnia.
PTSD related insomnia is a very tough symptom to tackle and is usually managed with a combination of anti-depressants, the short term use of sedatives and talking therapy( all under the watchful eye of a psychotherapist or psychiatrist).
Just a quick post about something that matters as equally as physical health.
We all live with mental health and mental illness can touch all of us at least once in our lifetime.So how openly do we talk about it and how easily do we feel uncomfortable mentioning our struggles to a co-worker, family member or friend?
I have encountered so many of the below unhelpful phrases from ignorant individuals, so for this reason, I will keep spreading awareness of the importance of validating someone’s struggles with their mental health.
I wanted to write a quick post on the topic of recovery. I have embraced and accepted my own journey of recovery but not without many difficult years of wanting to see big changes, too soon..
I know there are a lot of you battling with the struggles of mental health daily and wishing that you could achieve more.
I also know how disheartened you must feel when you don’t seem to reach your destination of being ”recovered”…This is where the problem lies..Recovery isn’t a destination..it is an ongoing, changing process with ups and downs..
Recovery doesn’t mean you will reach a day where you are recovered completely.What it DOES mean is that you will reach a point in your life where every struggle is much smaller and you will be able to feel better on more days than usual. If you suffered child abuse or neglect, you will most likely have ongoing mental health issues but this doesn’t mean you will suffer in the same way, as you grieve and progress in your healing. If you are a recovering alcoholic or drug addict, you will also know how much of a challenge it is to stop yourself from returning to the one thing that was able to numb you in the past..You are aware that your recovery from the drug of your choice will always be a constant in your life.
Before you are too harsh on yourself and have huge expectations on where you think you should be in your recovery, just remind yourself that everything is unfolding exactly as it should..that there are many small positive shifts happening in your mental health and that no matter how awful the tears, flashbacks, triggers, depression and anxiety are, that there are better days to come..Remind yourself of this when you are particularly low!
If you are recovering from any mental health issues, then this post is for you.
Be self-compassionate, give yourself a pat on the back and keep moving forward in your journey of recovery..Keep looking for resources that may help you along your journey, seek out a therapist or coach who is experienced and validating and keep all abusive & toxic people away from your life.
Hello, how are you doing? I hope you are looking after yourselves wherever you are in the world ♥
The reason I am writing this post, is because I have had a couple of my followers & subscribers request an improvement in the sound quality of my videos. I was aware that it wasn’t very loud, but had no idea the sound got so bad.It seemed to get worse after I tried removing the background noise. The editing software I used seemed to dull the sound quality for some reason so I wanted to apologise for this and let you know that I am currently dealing with it.
After exhausting all my options in regards to devices I already have ( laptop, ipad, nikon photo camera etc), I have now found a very good webcam which has a great microphone, good quality HD video and also reduces background noise. It has very good reviews on amazon and was also recommended through a few youtubers as well.
I always post videos on a Monday because it makes it easier for my subscribers to know when to check in but because I am currently waiting for my webcam to arrive, I will not being doing a youtube video this coming Monday.
I might be able to create another text video for those of you who don’t mind them, so if there is a topic you would like me to cover then please let me know 🙂
Lastly, I wanted to thank summerstartstoshine for nominating me for The sunshineblogger award, which I will write about in a separate post.She is a very kind & courageous blogger, so if you haven’t checked out her blog already then please pop by her page.
couragecoaching.net 