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Venture beyond the familiar

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Growth happens when we leave our comfort zone.

It is important to take baby steps outside our familiar surroundings, routines & hobbies in order to experience a new part of ourselves in the newness of the unknown.

The unknown can sometimes surprise us, so if you can be brave enough to take a chance on something new, then do it.

Love Athina ♥

Question & Answer- YouTube videos

Today I am starting off my series of Q & A videos, where my viewers and subscribers are able to get their questions answered by me, in a video each week. Please feel free to ask me questions on the following topics:

Complex PTSD
Narcissistic abuse
Dysfunctional relatioships
Negative thinking
Dealing with emotional flashbacks
Anxiety
Depression
Trauma Bonding
Toxic shame
Codependency

I also am happy to answer questions on how to :

Better manage your time
Practice self-compassion
Develop resilience
Stop self-defeating thinking patterns
Better manage your workload
Build confidence
Set boundaries
Deal with toxic people

Here is the first video on a question asked by one of my viewers:

Please note: **I will always keep the identity of my viewers confidential**

Thanks for reading and watching

Love Athina ♥

You are not a failure

Nobody told you when you were a child that life could feel so tough sometimes.

Nobody told you that life could drain the joy right out of you, just when you thought things were getting better.

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Life is a crazy rollercoaster and you have to ride it out, no matter what it throws at you.

It might be that your boss criticizes you, no matter how much extra work you put in.

It might be that your partner who once made you smile, now only seems to point out all your flaws.

Your family might be hopeless at supporting you and instead always tells you when you have let them down.

Your looks fall short of what is considered beautiful, your body has piled on the pounds and your health is deteriorating.

Your money problems never seem to end and you are surrounded by angry, hateful and impatient people.

Everywhere you seem to look, there are people pointing out what is wrong with you.

Your career isn’t where it is supposed to be. You still aren’t married and people think there is something wrong with you for not wanting to have kids.

Even people with the best self-esteem, can end up feeling horrible.

Everywhere you look, people are pointing out that you are a failure..

Outer criticism ends up becoming inner criticism. That inner criticism ends up taking hold of your daily life and you can’t seem to silence that nasty little voice inside you that tells you, you have failed.

You might have once been a reasonably confident person and now you are nowhere near that.

Do you find yourself being haunted by this inner voice of failure? Do you find yourself needing to apologise for things that are out of your control?

Are you sorry that you couldn’t do better at work? Then you failed

Are you sorry that you couldn’t lose weight? Then you failed

Are you sorry that your partner left you? Then you failed

Are you sorry that you are too sick to support your family? Then you failed

Are you sorry that you are struggling with the housework? Then you failed

Are you sorry that everything is too stressful? Then you failed

These negative thoughts are very harmful, even though you may not think so. When you internalise self-doubt your body absorbs it. Your muscles tense and you can actually become physically ill from it. If you allow others negativity to affect how you see yourself, then this might become a vicious cycle.

Have you ever noticed that when an abusive spouse, parent or boss criticizes you, you get nervous and are more likely to make more mistakes? The more difficult the people around you, the more on edge you feel and the more clumsy you may become. This was definetely the case with me for many years…

It is crucial to be aware of how destructive it can be to give your control away to others. If you constantly accept that you are a failure, because you judge yourself through others’ eyes, then you will eventually freeze. You will stop trying, you will stop living..

So how do you change this? How do you manage to keep the negativity that surrounds you away?

First of all, remember this! You are NOT A FAILURE!

You are not a failure because you failed your driving test.

You are not a failure because your relationship ended.

You are not a failure because you lost your job.

You are not a failure because you don’t want kids.

You are not a failure because others think you are.

Making mistakes in life is NORMAL. Making mistakes in life doesn’t mean that you are a failure. A mistake is just a mistake! This doesn’t make you anything less than wonderful.

Mistakes help you learn and at least you were brave enough to take on new opportunities.

Every time you catch yourself telling yourself that you are a failure, then say the word ‘STOP’. You are not a failure..

Remind yourself of all the good things you have done and that you are proud of. Even the tiniest things can mean so much! Don’t let others define you. Nothing matters more than the opinion YOU HAVE of yourself.

Never apologise for not being good enough because you are a valuable and worthy person. No matter how much others judge you, don’t let their voice drown out your own.

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!

Love Athina ♥

Why Women Don’t Report Sexual Abuse When We ‘Should’ Have

Re-blogging this from an amazing lady! It is important to understand the complexity of this!

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As a Brit watching the media coverage of the US presidential debate, I’ve found myself quite shocked at the allegations and accusations. But nothing has surprised me more than the lack of compassion towards the women who have come forward to report claims of sexual abuse from Donald Trump. The most outrageous thing I’ve witnessed over and over again is the questions fired towards these women demanding why they didn’t report the abuse sooner, or why they didn’t report it to the police.

From someone who has been assaulted in a violent attempted rape, I know firsthand why victims don’t report the abuse when they should or could have and I’d like to give those who haven’t been in such a situation some insider information.

When you’re emotionally charged, you don’t act rationally

It’s so simple for someone on the outside of the situation to tell someone what they should’ve done, during or…

View original post 980 more words

TRUMP WINS: UNIMPRESSED

I am reblogging this post by fellow blogger Everydaylife, as it encapsulates exactly what I and so many others are feeling after the results of the US elections.
I was already disheartened by the Brexit vote this year. With my half Scottish/half Greek background and with friends & family from all backgrounds, ethnicities and sexuality, this is truly sickening. Trump being President feels like a nightmare! How can people vote for such a Malignant narcissist?

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I am making this post not as a nationalist, feminist or secularist but in generally as a HUMAN.

I am a 21-year-old young woman who has been educated all her life that respect is the most vital part of life, that without honest hard work or integrity nothing of worth can be truly achieved. I have also been taught that looking down upon people: women and the disabled ones especially (and men too) will not earn me anything except contempt from other people because it is downright cruel and unacceptable. I did not question any of these things that were taught to me, I accepted and imbibed them into my system because not just because they were popular beliefs or so but, because I resonated with them as well- respect, not looking down upon people and the likes of it.

Similarly, growing up, everyone gets educated about these fundamental qualities…

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How to deal with negative emotions

Happy Monday dear followers & friends,

I have been busy making & editing youtube videos for the last few days, as towards the end of the month I will be very busy studying. I am trying to do videos on topics that people have emailed me about and today’s video is based on a question from a YouTube Subscriber.

Dealing with negative emotions is something everyone can relate to and is something that nobody wants to face in this life. Unfortunately, every single one of us has constant experience with negative or uncomfortable emotions.

I have already written a blog post about the main point I make in the video below: https://couragecoaching.wordpress.com/2016/08/04/the-importance-of-feeling-our-feelings/

In the video I talk about the importance of dealing with negative emotions in the healthiest way.

This healthiest way, is something that has already helped many people who have had coaching and psychotherapy and I am offering it in this video for free.

I really hope it is helpful and makes sense. If you think it might help others, please re-blog or share it on social media.

Love Athina ♥

The Power with Gratitude and Appreciation — BayArt

What Is Gratitude? Gratitude, thankfulness, gratefulness, or appreciation is a feeling or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive. Robert Emmons, perhaps the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude, argues that gratitude has two key components. Firstly, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things…

via The Power with Gratitude and Appreciation — BayArt

Beauty is in the human spirit..

What do you define as beauty?

Beauty for me is a lot of things.

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Photography and art is beautiful.

The gorgeous colours of nature all around us is beautiful.

A message of love and comfort is beautiful.

The generosity & kindness in people’s eyes is beautiful.

The strength & courage of the human spirit is beautiful.

The ability to self-reflect & heal is beautiful.

The incredible firefighters, policemen, doctors, nurses, first responders, teachers, loving parents, foster carers, careworkers, psychologists, survivors and humanitarians that make a huge difference in this world are beautiful (and so many more I haven’t listed..).

Beauty for me is in the human spirit that perseveres against all odds.

Beauty for me is in the resilience of the poorest people, the people who suffer the most but are able to still offer love, compassion & understanding.

Beauty for me is in the highly sensitive person, the empath, the artist & the volunteer.

Beauty is all around us and it is found in the simplest things in life..

Beauty is about stopping to smell the roses..it is about living in the moment and appreciating all that you have in life..it is about loving yourself enough to accept yourself completely and treating others with respect & love..

What is beautiful to you?

Love Athina ♥

Energy Giving, Energy Draining

Great post about the importance of setting boundaries!

Acknowledging our weaknesses

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How many of you find it easy to admit to your weaknesses? How often do you struggle with admitting a weakness to a friend or partner or even to yourself?

Do you ever feel a sting when a close person in your life points out a weakness that you weren’t aware you had? Or maybe it is just that person’s opinion but not your own? It’s tough knowing sometimes, whether we actually have that weakness that this person is pointing out to us..Is the sting we feel trying to tell us that maybe it is actually true?!

What one person considers a weakness doesn’t mean that the other person thinks so too..

For example, I may think that it is a weakness for someone to expect me to be perfect, when I am actually completely comfortable being less than perfect. It is not my problem this other person needs perfection from those around him, including me. I personally find the need to be perfect exhausting, therefore I am more happy to give everything my best shot and even if it doesn’t turn out amazingly, at least I tried.

Another point worth mentioning, is the difficulty some of us may have when it comes to admitting fault or weakness, because we actually fear what others think of us. If we are actually perfectionists by nature and set ourselves high standards all the time, then to admit that we have actually failed at something is out of the question. It is in this very case, I believe, that we need to work more on ourselves. Our own thoughts and the way we see the world, can either make our life more fulfilling or severely limiting. Some of us also may find criticism excruciatinly painful, because deep down we know we are flawed, wrong or not good enough. This may be because of negative programming in our childhood or from pressure to always show our best and most socially acceptable side.

Accepting and embracing our weaknesses, increases our awareness of where we might be limiting ourselves.

If someone has harmed us and this has impacted us in a destructive way, then this is slightly different. We have a right to be angry and put the blame where it belongs (in the case of murder,domestic abuse, child abuse etc). Working through grief about the unfotunate things that happen to us in life, is necessary for healing. Despite this though, we are still in charge of how we deal with whatever life has dealt us. It is always up to us to work hard at making changes in the areas we suffer with the most.We can either be a victim and sit back and point fingers at everyone else or we can take responsibility and take small steps to creating opportunities from our challenges.

Love Athina ♥